You know, that way men won't have to keep coming up with excuses to get out of the house during that time of month.
"Sorry, honey. I would love to sit here and listen to you berate and belittle me, but in case you didn't notice, there's a war going on. I'm fighting for your freedom, after all. Well, not yours, because you're a woman and technically speaking, you belong to me... What...? Why...? What are you doing? Put down that red-hot fire poker. Okay, okay, I'm leaving. I'll see you in 18 months. Unless I die (oh, please, dear god, let me die). Love you!"
Well, the world is safe once again. I was able to find some PMS meds yesterday. Granted, it required going out to a Target in, well, I'm not really sure where I was. I do know that I've never been in a sketchier Target before though. It was like I was in Walmart or something. Either they (this particular Target) are closing up shop or they're doing a huge remodel, whatever, but the place was a wreck. Oh, and everything was on clearance.
At any rate, I found my drugs. People need not die now. Feel free to send Target a letter of appreciation for saving your lives.
On a very similar note, and really, the whole point of this post, have you ever really read the boxes these happy, pretty pills come in? Well, I did. Luckily for you, you don't need to. I took the liberty of highlighting some items of note. You're welcome.
Hope you're all doing your best to beat the heat! I'm off to do some more job searching. *sigh*
9 comments:
I no longer have PMS thanks to the hysto Im pretty much on full tilt bitch all the time. I really miss being able to blame it on PMS though.
That's hysterical! Enlarged prostate? WTH?
Drugs on clearance sale? Effing awesome. I may have PMS and not even know it. I do have a headache, and a backache. And I'm definitely irritated. And feeling a little of the bloat. Can guys take this stuff without getting irreparably damaged? Cuz if so, I'm in.
@ Jersey Diva Mom- Got me. Some dude with an enlarged prostate must have tried using this once, right? So now they have to advise ALL men against it, I guess.
@ MMH- I think they make drugs for "full tilt bitch" too. I think it's called Xanax.
@ DP- Is your prostate gland enlarged? Are you pregnant or breastfeeding? Are you willing to commit to consuming 3+ alcoholic beverages a day? I'm not doctor, but I think you're good to.
Oh man. Too funny. I think you may also enjoy this site, designed to warn men when their lady might turn into a demon from the pit of hell via surges of hormones:
http://pmsbuddy.com/
xo-
B
@ The Fab Miss B- How come more people don't know about this? Brilliant!
That site is the funniest thing I've seen all day. Brilliant!
Maybe too many people are taking Bill Cosby's advice - On "The Toothache", a track from Why Is There Air?, he talks about taking Midol to relieve a headache.
Man, I gotta move to the states, they really pump out the good stuff there huh? and you can have 3 drinks with this stuff? that's awesome i can't even endure three drinks on a good day let alone all hopped up on anti blood clot/ anti bitching medicine...this sounds great! i think you can pretty much cure everything with a pill now a days!
good luck in the job search...man, you sure are having a tough time of it **sending you luck and fairy dust for the perfect job that fulfills you***
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