Alive II: The Carnivorous Cruise

   

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This morning on the Today Show, Matt Lauer interviewed a honeymooning couple who were aboard the Carnival Cruise ship that was stranded at sea for 4 days. Unfortunately, I found myself still drinking my cup of coffee when the interview came on and was thus witness to the tale this couple told of the ordeal they endured. In case you missed it, here's a snippet of the interview that really brought home the extent of the hardship the passengers experienced. Paraphrased, of course. My thoughts to follow.

Matt Lauer: What was it exactly that you ate in order to stay alive?
New Bride: CEREAL!!! There was nothing but cereal for breakfast! Just cereal. And we had salads and sandwiches for lunch and dinner! Just vegetables! There was no meat at all!

Yes, I do believe he's picking his teeth

First of all, seriously, Matt? Seriously? To stay alive? Was it really that dire aboard the ship that the passengers were at risk of dying? They had food brought in for them for crying out loud! And free booze! It's not like they were in the Andes eating their left wing's buttocks (Google it: Andes rugby. Most disturbing book you'll ever read.).

Second of all, new bride, I don't mean to judge, but it kind of looks like eating salads and sandwiches for four days might actually be in your best interest, honey. Looks to me like you could use to lose a few (feign offense if you want, dear readers,* but you know you were thinking it too).

But you know what? I wasn't there. Maybe it really was that horrific and awful. A couple of passengers did have this to say, after all, in an interview with CBS News,  "You started seeing some peanut butter, which everybody was excited about," said Katie Sokulski. Dad Stan Allen agreed: "We didn't even know how much we loved peanut butter!" 

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I mean, it's not like I've ever been through an ordeal such as this, right? Although, there was that one ice storm that hit Northern NY and Canada in 1998... eh, but who am I kidding? I mean, my family was stranded in our house, in the middle of the woods, without power, for a week, and we couldn't flush the toilets, and we didn't have running water (all in the dead of winter), but hey, at least we didn't have to endure what this one woman complained about, "We were bored, we were hungry, we couldn't lay out because it wasn't sunny," said Amy Watts. 

And you know what? I bet those rugby players in the Andes were at least able to lay out in the sun while they gnawed on their homo sapien jerky.

* Apparently I'm channeling Stephen King.