But seriously though

 

I realize I'm still a couple of months from my birthday and this post is probably a little premature, but there have been some things that I have learned, nay, discovered since turning 30.

1. Freckles are cute. When you're 3. Or 13. When you're 30, they become less cute and more like, well, age spots. Or cancer.
2. Wrinkles. Not just for the eyes anymore. 
3. Your feet are not your friends. Those two things at the end of your legs that have been hauling your sorry ass around for 28-29 years? Yeah, they've had enough. Which is why I found myself purchasing footwear for comfort the other night instead of for fashion (although I tried to accomplish both. Orthopedic cream is totally in right now, right?)
4. The sex drive doesn't really drive anymore so much as it putters.  It's like downgrading from a sports car to a golf cart.
5. Pudge is sexy. Right? RIGHT!?! Sure it is, you young folk just don't know it yet.
6. The infamous clock exists. And the tick-tocking from my womb gets louder every day.
7. Videos games are for teens and college kids. Lacking both of those in my household, however, I find it is my responsibility (well, and the G-Man's) to make up for it by playing video games my(our)self(ves). That and it gives me something to talk to my 5th and 6th graders about.
8. With maturity comes responsibility. Like only having two mixed drinks instead of three because you have to work the next morning. 
9. The 30s are the new 20s. Or so others keep telling me, the damn liars. I'm pretty sure people would rather see a 23 year old in a mini-skirt and tank top than me.
10. I am not becoming my mother. No really, I'm not. At least, I don't think I am. I mean, I don't like to gossip, in fact, I prefer to avoid all conversation with other people and hate talking on the phone. I have no desire to have sock matching "parties" or participate in the ritualistic "spring cleaning". And the thought of drinking a bloody Mary makes me gag.

Um, so it's not an extensive list, and not necessarily a overwhelmingly positive list, but at least it's something, right?