I (finally) explain myself. Or something like that.

    

You may find yourself making a trip to the grocery store for butter and sour cream.

And you may find yourself purchasing pickles as well.

And you may find yourself also buying chocolate chip cookies.

You may find yourself in the candy aisle, with a bag of Starbursts in your hand.

You may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"*

And your answer to the above question will probably be one of the following:

1. "I'm stoned, again."
2. "I'm shopping while hungry, again."
3. "I'm shopping while pregnant, again." -or-
4. "I'm shopping while frustrated with work, again."

If you're like me though, your answer to the above question will be

5. All of the above except for #1 (that sort of thing is generally frowned upon while being #3).

Yup, that's right folks, you read that correctly. I... am... (drum-roll please) HUNGRY! Oh, and I'm pregnant too. Thought I should just throw that out there. It's already "Facebook official," so might as well tell the rest of the world. Here, I'll even share my "making it Facebook official" photo with you:

(Well, technically I am, but by default the G-man is too. Or something like that.)

So, that's been my deal for the past so-and-so many weeks/months. Which is another way of saying I totally blame the person growing inside of me for why I haven't blogged in forever. This being pregnant shit can be rough. But I survived the milestones of the first trimester and am now honeymooning in the second. I didn't realize how bad I was feeling during the first three months until I started feeling good again. Like my stepfather always says, "The best part about pain is when it's over." Amen.

In case you're wondering, "Oh hey, OBG, if you're feeling so great now, how come you're still not back to blogging regularly?" Well, now it seems, despite my return of energy and easing up of nausea, I'm suffering from frequent migraines, and if you know anything about migraines, they make looking at a computer screen feel like there are shards of broken glass being driven through your eyeballs.

(You aren't really affected by this, but I had to share that I needed to take two days off from this post in order to nurse a migraine. I'm back now. Again, I doubt you even noticed.)

You're probably wondering,  "What does this all mean", right? Well, it means my life is in the process of changing significantly, and therefore so will my blog. In fact, I think I touched upon that once or twice before. Don't panic yet though. I have no intention of becoming a "Mommy blogger," not that there's anything wrong with that. There are plenty of Mommy and Daddy bloggers out there that I enjoy and who do a pretty damn good job of writing some pretty gosh darn entertaining shit. I would be lying though if I didn't admit that being a brand new shiny mommy (or mommy-to-be) won't seep it's way into this blog. I'm sure it will. I'll try to keep it to a minimum though.

In the meantime, while I'm still trying (and can find the time) to sort out the direction of this blog, let me answer some FAQs before you ask them. When I'm finished, if you still have questions, you may find the comment section to be a suitable place to ask (that's the teacher in me speaking right there).

OBG Prego FAQs (in no particular order)

When are you due?
In August. About mid-August. August 19th, to be more specific. If you're not any good at pregnancy math (and who is?), that puts me at 15 weeks.

What are you having?
Um, I'm not well learned in the matters of biology, but I'm pretty sure we'll be having a baby. Oh, you meant what is the sex of the baby? Don't know yet. Ask me again in about a month, and if I'm in a good mood, I might decide to tell you. Or not.

Will you and the G-Man be getting married?
Geez folks! We've only been together for 10 years. We should probably give it some time to see if we even like each other before we rush into any hasty decisions like marriage.

How are you feeling?
Like there's a human being growing inside of me, and I no longer have control of my body.
Like there's a massive water balloon that has taken up residency in my gut.
But otherwise, not bad. My back's starting to hurt, and I get horrendous headaches, and I have horrible... Oh. You were just asking to be polite? You didn't really want a list of my woes? No problem. I feel great! Thanks for asking!

Do you have any cravings?
Fruit and candy. And pickles, but that's nothing new.

Will you be returning to work after wards?
Uh, yeah! Did you not read this post? Although, I'll admit, I have fantasized about being a SAHM (look! I know the lingo already!) for at least the first six months, while embarking on some creative endeavor that would allow me to do so and still bring in some dough. But I'm realistic. I'll have to go back to work.

Can we see pictures?
Um... if you're family and/or close friends you can. I'm not sure how I feel yet about posting prego pics of me on the internet yet.

But what if we promise not to laugh?
Fine. I'll give you one picture:

(The dreaded "pregnancy mask")**

Alright, well that's enough with FAQs. And that's enough from me. I've got big important stuff to do. Or something like that. 

Wait! One more thing. If you're so inclined, pop back and reread my New Year's Resolutions. I promise you you'll see them in a whole new light.

* Swiped from Talking Heads.

** FYI this was at 13 weeks. There's a bump there, but mostly this will serve as a basis for comparison for all the future bump pictures I'll be taking for close friends and family.