"To sleep: perchance to dream"

I lay in bed, and I sensed it creeping down the hallway towards my bedroom door. I peaked my head out over the edge of the covers and tentatively peered at the bedroom door. It was slightly ajar. The dog began whining in her sleep, and my heart began to flutter in my chest. I felt it getting closer. The door silently creeped open. The fear inside me escalated as the tall shadowy figure appeared. To describe it as tall would be a lie. It was looming, and it filled the doorway with a darkness that turned my insides to ice. I buried myself deeper within the covers and wished the shape away. As the shadow figure hungrily absorbed the ambient light, it rippled and pulsed, stealthy taking on a human form. The dog whimpered and then awoke. She issued a tentative and nervous bark. The shadow dissipated, the light returned to the hallway, and I breathed a breath I didn't know I had been holding.

I'm not sleeping well lately. It seems insomnia has come to visit once again. On the one hand, my creative spirit tends to emerge during these times in my life. On the other, so do my headaches. I spend my days trying to be rid of the pain and my nights trying to be rid of my wakefulness. When I do sleep it's never for long, and it certainly isn't restful. I'm haunted by dreams that border on nightmares, and I suffer hallucinations the likes of the one above. As I'm riding out this sleepless wave, rest assured that while I may not be present here, I am silently creating in my real world. I hope to be back soon.

(And while I'm away, check out some lovely Etsy finds today at The Bittersweet Blonde: It's Etsy time!)

(by elista via Etsy)

I can die a happy person.

The other day, one of my longtime dreams came true.

That's right, I visited an Anthropologie store for the first time (and I will be back, oh yes, I will). It felt like I had stepped through my laptop, into the magic of their website. I told the G-Man , as we walked through the doors,  "If I had a lot of money, I would live in their catalog." (oh yes, I made him come too, considered it payback for the gun show trip. Which back fired on me because he actually enjoyed it.)

It felt like I was coming home. Never before have I stepped into a store and felt less stressed and more relaxed. I wanted to melt into the floor and become one with the merchandise. It was surreal. All of my old favorites were there. And they were more colorful, luxurious and gorgeous than I could have ever imagined.

Laelia was there, and she was everything I envisioned she would be. Bold and bright. Comfy and puffy. One of these days she will share my bed with me. Oh yes, she will. We'll spend lazy Sunday mornings together, drink coffee together and share magical, fantasy-filled dreams together. Gone will be my nights of insomnia. Gone will be my nightmares. With Laelia by my side, wrapping me in snuggly sunshine, nothing bad could ever happen.

 Octopus and Seahorse were there, ready to liven up my bland, everyday tap water. More colorful and vibrant in person, they whispered underwater secrets to me and asked me to imagine our lives together, swinging on a hammock in the summer sun while sipping lemonade and reading care-free, guilty pleasure, summertime novels.

Astrid was there in all her red-orange glory. She spoke of afternoon tea and cookies. She invited me to pull out my sketchbook, get comfy and sketch the day away. She showed me a world of cozy throw blankets and glasses of wine enjoyed by the light of the fireplace.

And of course, Zinnia, Entomology and Spinning Globe were there. They had my wheels spinning, imagining reclaimed, refinished furniture and brightly lit living spaces. We spoke of sandpaper and vintage paper drawer liners.

And don't even get me started on the clothing. How 'bout you? Have you ever met your wish list in person before?

Dude, I'm beat, yo.

  

No, I haven't transformed into some sort of gangster/hippie hybrid overnight, but 'd' to the 'a•m•n' am I tired.

Too tired, in fact, to make coffee this morning, and since we're out of K-cups, I had tea. And tea is no substitute for coffee. Don't believe me? Why don't you go back and re-read that first sentence. Believe me now? Just be thankful I'm not to the point where I'm deliriously rolling around on the floor laughing like a maniacal crazy person. It's been known to happen, is all I'm saying.

This clock has no relevance to this post. I just thought it was cool.

So you might be wondering why the frick-frack I'm so tired (and when did I start becoming the type of person to replace all my curse words?)? Well, you got me (on both counts). It's not like I'm doing anything all day. However, if I have to blame something, I'm inclined to blame the following:

1. Medication. I'm on it. You don't need to know the details. Moving on.
2. Tension. The tension in the world of OBG is at extreme levels right now. What with job searching, apartment searching, money woes and so on and so on. I believe mental exhaustion can be more debilitating than physical exhaustion.
3. Laziness. I'm pretty sure I read studies about this sort of thing. The less active you are, the more tired you are. Or something like that. The only part of me getting any exercise lately are my fingers. I'm having a hard time convincing myself that it's okay to step away from the computer and the grind of job searching. 
4. Xbox and Dexter. Two things that have consumed my evenings of late. And when it's bedtime, these two get together in my dreams for nocturnal parties that drain the life out of me.
5. My Sleep Schedule. It's all out of whack. As I've discussed before, I'm a night person, and I have a tendency to be an insomniac. It is physically impossible for me to fall asleep before eleven pm, and often times, one am. And while I can be quite functional on a mere six hours of sleep, it is cruel and unusual punishment for me to be rudely awakened by bells and whistles and fog horns and alarms before seven am. Especially when I have a tendency to wake up during the night every few hours. *Sigh* I am so not built for the real world. 

So yeah, I'm tired. But I also have shit to do today, so while I'd really like to go take a quick power nap, I might actually go fold some laundry. Or something like that. And yeah, this post really has no point, but whatev'. I'm too tired to think. Get over it.

These two do not play well in sleepy time dreamland.

Oh, and I think this weekend is going to be relatively tame (thank God), but I did hear rumors of bowling tomorrow night, so that'll be cool. What are your weekend plans? Hope they're good ones (but if they're not, that's okay too).

Retro-Cool

      

I have concluded that I want an all-white kitchen with splashes of color. You know, when I finally decide to settle in somewhere. I think a white kitchen would be the perfect canvas for someone like me. Someone who constantly yearns for change. I'm currently obsessed with three VERY retro colors, and I'm dying to put them in my (future) kitchen...

AVOCADO!!!

I have these bowls, but one is busted. So sad.

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TURQUOISE!!!

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RED-ORANGE!!!

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I'm imagining something like this (but with a splash of red-orange)...

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And I ♥ the idea of painting the interior of the kitchen cabinets. Like this...

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And I absolutely, positively HAVE to have these in my kitchen. I realize this would be a pretty big commitment, but I cannot express how much I want these...

They're available in many, awesome, retro colors. I'm not entirely sold on the avocado; the color possibilities are endless! Sweet!

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(I think my ceramic ducks would fit in perfectly!)

(Ooh! And my ceramic Lincoln Logs too! I'm super-psyched!)