shhh... it's a secret

Thursday, November 18, 2010

But seriously though

I realize I'm still a couple of months from my birthday and this post is probably a little premature, but there have been some things that I have learned, nay, discovered since turning 30.
  1. Freckles are cute. When you're 3. Or 13. When you're 30, they become less cute and more like, well, age spots. Or cancer.
  2. Wrinkles. Not just for the eyes anymore. 
  3. Your feet are not your friends. Those two things at the end of your legs that have been hauling your sorry ass around for 28-29 years? Yeah, they've had enough. Which is why I found myself purchasing footwear for comfort the other night instead of for fashion (although I tried to accomplish both. Orthopedic cream is totally in right now, right?)
  4. The sex drive doesn't really drive anymore so much as it putters It's like downgrading from a sports car to a golf cart.
  5. Pudge is sexy. Right? RIGHT!?! Sure it is, you young folk just don't know it yet.
  6. The infamous clock exists. And the tick-tocking from my womb gets louder every day.
  7. Videos games are for teens and college kids. Lacking both of those in my household, however, I find it is my responsibility (well, and the G-Man's) to make up for it by playing video games my(our)self(ves). That and it gives me something to talk to my 5th and 6th graders about.
  8. With maturity comes responsibility. Like only having two mixed drinks instead of three because you have to work the next morning. 
  9. The 30s are the new 20s. Or so others keep telling me, the damn liars. I'm pretty sure people would rather see a 23 year old in a mini-skirt and tank top than me.
  10. I am not becoming my mother. No really, I'm not. At least, I don't think I am. I mean, I don't like to gossip, in fact, I prefer to avoid all conversation with other people and hate talking on the phone. I have no desire to have sock matching "parties" or participate in the ritualistic "spring cleaning". And the thought of drinking a bloody Mary makes me gag.
Um, so it's not an extensive list, and not necessarily a overwhelmingly positive list, but at least it's something, right?


    Ms. E said...

    If your tits haven't hit your knees yet then dammit, you're still young!

    A Vapid Blonde said...

    I was going to try and be all supportive and shit, but I am not even in my thirties anymore so I can't be. I'm sorry.

    On the other hand your number 10 I totally agree with all of it except the bloody mary part. I love them. I love them almost as much as I hate socializing.

    MeredithDuck said...

    It is making me sick how much I am becoming my mother. At some point I need to make a list of all the similarities, and then burn it.

    LiLu said...

    But... but I love my freckles!!

    Krista said...

    I love this. And you are SO turning into Mom that it isn't even funny.

    Just kidding.

    If anyone is in danger of turning into Mom it's....

    Ooh. Look at the pretty bird!

    Sassy Marmalade said...

    Hahaha, love all of these! Agree with them all, except number 4. Went the other direction for me! But #6 is killing me lately. I figured if it hadn't kicked in by 29, I was in the clear! Not the case, not even close.

    One Blonde Girl said...

    @ Ms E- Phew! They have yet to do that, so I guess I'm good!
    @ A Vapid- Socializing I don't mind. It usually involves alcohol. Conversation I mind. It usually involves, well, conversation.
    @ MeredithDuck- Ooh. Good luck with that. That sounds horribly traumatizing.
    @ LiLu- yeah, I used to too
    @ Krista- Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but now that you mention it...

    jules said...

    The 30's ARE the new 20's. At least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!! And otherwise, I'll just say I'm 26...and half..ish...with some more halfs on the side?

    FRECKLES are awesome. (Again, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. !!!!)

    Sara Louise said...

    yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, these are all true. Especially that damn puttering... what is up with that???

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