So the other day I was overwhelmed by jealousy when I read this post, In Which I Get Signed, by Badass Geek. To sum it up, he randomly scored a signed copy of Stephen King's new book, "Full Dark, No Stars" (which I'm reading right now), when he had some time to kill and wandered into a book store. I've been a Constant Reader since, well, middle school, so it's safe to assume that I'm a HUGE fan. So yeah, I was extremely jealous.
Also, the other day, the G-Man dragged me to the mall, kicking and screaming. I really hate the mall. Alright, so maybe I wasn't kicking and screaming, but I'm sure I put up a bit of a fight, as I do every time he forces me to leave the house. Well, maybe not forces, but it comes pretty close to it, like that one time we were going to go skiing and it was so early, and I really didn't want to, and he literally dragged me out of bed and across the floor.
But anyways, we went to the mall, and after we exchanged the chipped and scratched dinnerware that we finally got around to ordering, we headed out to find some new sneaks for the G-Man, when his phone rang. It was one of his friends calling from Iraq. The G-Man's friend is a government contractor who volunteered to work in Iraq for a year in exchange for wads of money. But now he's having tons of personal issues with his wife and what not, who is still in the US, so the G-Man had to take the call. So, the G-Man found a bench to sit on while I went into the Gap to pick up some tops.
When I emerged from the Gap, the G-Man was nowhere to be found as he had wandered off while on the phone, so... while he was conversing for the next hour, I meandered around the mall, trying to kill time, and trying not to get to pissed off since the whole reason we were at the mall was to look for new sneakers for the G-Man, who, as you may recall, abandoned me. Eventually we met up again, just in time for me to approve the color of the G-Man's sneakers. You see, he's colorblind, so he isn't always entirely sure of his color choices. Which is why I okayed the bluish-purple sneakers he ended up getting. You know, out of spite, for making me suffer the horrors of the mall on my own. Of course, he doesn't know that they have a tinge of purple to them, that's our little secret. Then again, sometimes he reads this blog, so I guess he probably does know that there is a tinge of purple in them, and now I'm probably in the dog house, but it serves him right.
But the joke's really on him now (ha, ha!), because there is no purple in the sneakers, but now he's all self-conscious about them and wondering whether or not there is purple in them or not. Which means I'll now have to reassure him every day that they're blue and not purple. Shit. Guess the joke's on me then, huh? Back me up here guys, 'kay? No purple, right?
Right. That's our story and we're sticking to it. Speaking of stories, back to the real story...
So, I'm wandering around the mall, trying to kill time, when I decided to wander into a Borders, because, well, I can always use new reading material. While in there I picked up the new King book (see above), a couple of Neil Gaiman books, and a Christopher Moore book I haven't read yet, "Bite Me" (It's a love story).
Of course, little did I know, Borders was having this scam going on, Buy Four, Get the Fifth Free, and since I was already buying four books, they conned me into getting a fifth. Geesh. But anyways, while I was skimming the books in line, this happened to catch my eye:
Yeah, that's right, folks. I found my own signed copy of a book (and I checked, it's real, you can even see where the Sharpie bled through the backside of the page).
And it all comes full circle.