shhh... it's a secret

Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year's Eve: Yeah, let's do this thing.

I'm not a fan of New Year's Eve. For one, I never plan far enough ahead to actually have anywhere fun or cool to be. Much like Halloween, in fact. I think these two days require ample planning for maximum fun. It never fails, the morning of (on NYE and H'ween), we're always trying to decide what to do, scrounging around for party attire, and ultimately deciding that participation in festivities will not be occurring this year. But NEXT YEAR. Oh yes, next year we'll plan ahead and do something really exciting! And then next year comes around, and we've once again neglected to plan ahead. Tickets have not been purchased. Slutty attire has not been acquired. Friends have not been contacted. 

So, this New Year's Eve I may or may not be going out. I may or may not be spending a quiet evening at home with Netflix (again). I may or may not be getting together with friends. I may or may not be watching the ball drop on TV. 

What I will do, though, is take a moment to compile my own Top 10 list for you (everyone loves a good Top 10 list this time of year, right?). Enjoy, and here's wishing you all a safe end to 2010, and a glorious beginning to 2011!

OBG's Top 10 11 Favorite Posts from 2010

  1. In which I write a letter to the Sandman 
  2. In which I contemplate a life spent drinking with homeless people
  3. In which I confess my inability to peek before I pee
  4. In which I reveal too much information
  5. In which I try my hand at soap opera levels of writing
  6. In which I learn about the quarter-life cirsis
  7. In which I contemplate cohabitation
  8. In which I outline my rules for successful cohabitation
  9. In which I'm reminded why I hate cub scouts
  10. In which I decide I hate hippies
  11. In which I tried to be a creative writer. Again. 
Upon searching through my archives, I have concluded that I am neither a) funny, b) clever, nor c) interesting. Why do you people keep coming back here?

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Things are a brewin'!



Meanwhile, enjoy this re-post, previously "aired" January 8, 2010.

Some holiday reflection

The holiday season has come to an end and for the first time in many, many years, I'm sorry that it is over. Usually around mid-October I begin experiencing holiday related panic attacks, stress headaches and night sweats (alright, maybe not the night sweats, but you get the idea). After the holiday season of '08, however, I vowed to do things differently this year. I wanted a relatively relaxed, peaceful and stress-free holiday experience, and for the most part, I'm happy to report that I accomplished just that! So what was my magical solution? What mysterious remedy did I discover to banish holiday related stress? Well, I didn't buy a single Christmas present this year. Not one. And I didn't feel the least bit guilty over it.
As the years move on, and my immediate family gets older and continues to expand, the number of gift recipients keeps multiplying. I have four sisters and a brother and when you add in their significant others, their children, parents and step-parents... you can see how quickly things can get out of hand. This year I declared, NO MORE! Now, in the interest of full disclosure I must admit this decision wasn't entirely made as a result of my gift buying frustrations. It just so happens I'm in graduate school finishing up my thesis and trying to survive on the measly income I receive as a graduate assistant. In other words, I'm dead broke, which contributed significantly to my inability and unwillingness to purchase Christmas presents this year. I very well could have used my {gasp} credit cards to buy some holiday joy for my loved ones, but I didn't. (I am quite proud to say that I have 0 credit card debt, thank you very much)
In place of gifts I decided I would spend more time with my family and help them out with their holiday stress as much as I could. BEST. DECISION. EVER. I have never felt better about myself nor the holidays than I did after helping my mom wrap Christmas presents, or after staying with my sister for a week and helping her in any and every way she needed (she had three boys, all under the age of 5 and fueled up with Santa-fever, to manage), or after preparing an entirely homemade, from-scratch Christmas dinner for 12+ family members. Never has a last-minute, purchased gift, wrapped in over-priced paper made me feel as generous and giving as I did this year. I felt useful. I felt appreciated. Most importantly, I felt a renewed love and joy for my family that I haven't felt in years.
Will I buy Christmas presents next year, when grad school will be over and I'll be (hopefully) employed full-time? I don't know. I do know that if I do, I will put more time and thought into my gifts rather than rush through the stores, carelessly checking people off my list. I also know that I'm going to take more time for my family and offer to help them out as much as I can.
Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Phoning it in

Remember when I told you (way back when) that the G-man had already purchased a Christmas present for me? Well, due to travel plans we had our Christmas last night, and it turns out that gift is a Kindle! I'm using it as we speak (so-to-speak). It comes with free 3G connection! It's not the greatest, nor the most convinient browser, but it's still pretty sweet!

Hope you all have a great holiday season. Travel safely. We are headed to NY for a week today to see family I'm super psyched!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Cloud 9 Just Deflated

Remember that happiness high I was on the other day when I was bragging about how happy I am right now? Yeah, well, it seems I've hit a little hiccup at the hands of a complete stranger while attending our neighborhood holiday party. In about 20 minutes or so (it's possible it only felt that long), he managed to crush any hope I had for a magical holiday season, and furthermore, a happy, secure and satisfying future. Thanks a lot, old man. I know you were probably trying to help, but I'm pretty sure you did more harm than good. In the future, keep your big mouth shut and your opinions to yourself (which is pretty much good advice for everyone).

p.s. Only 30 shopping days left until the greatest day of the year... MY BIRTHDAY (and Twin's too, of course)! Wondering what to get me? Well, don't you worry, I'll be putting out a wish list soon enough. I just have to get through this Christmas chaos first.

Monday, December 13, 2010

I'm Only Crazy When I'm Unemployed

And apparently I can only think of things to write about when I'm a) crazy b) depressed or c) bored out of my mind. At the moment, I am none of these things. I'm in the worst predicament ever. I'm, dare I say it, happy. I know, it's awful, it's horrible, the world may end tomorrow. I'm happy, and I really have nothing going on in my life to complain about. Life is good. But who wants to hear about all that touchy-feely, happy-schmappy, ooey-gooey stuff? People want tragedy, that want controversy, they want fart jokes, reality TV and grotesque disfigurements. 

And on top of all these blasted good feelings, I've got no time. Absolutely no time to blog. Well, hardly any time at any rate. What's a girl to do? Thankfully the new job has provided me with material for Art Teachers Hate Glitter, where I write about the truth, albeit a humorous truth, about the ins and outs of being an elementary art teacher. If that sort of thing interests you (and I understand it only appeals to a limited audience), be sure to pop over there and check it out.

Until I find myself with some more time on my hands, you can continue to expect sporadic and irrelevant posts. Thanks for sticking it out with me through these hard and trying times. Now excuse me while I go an wallow in my happiness.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Sunday Confessions: #9-10


Come forward and step into my confessional booth 
where all our dirty little secrets can be shared.


 Sunday Confessions:
#9- I hate off-brand chocolate. Blech. Hate it. And don't even get me started on off-brand peanut butter cups.

#10- I believe in the magic of Christmas. And every year I go into the holiday season waiting, expecting, to feel that magic. Sometimes it comes, but mostly Christmas is just a big let down what with all the crazy traveling and pressure of gift giving. One of these years I know that the magical feeling will last the entire holiday season (you know, like when we were kids?). I'm hopeful.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

I ♥ Etsy! Robots. The new zombies?

Maybe it's just me, but robots seem to be everywhere lately. Are they the new zombies. Again, maybe it's just me.

If you enjoyed this edition of I ♥ Etsy!, be sure to check out some others!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Wordless Wednesday


Ummm... this freak anyone else out?

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

PMS is Making Me Fat: And Other Complaints No One Cares About

The sensation of fatness
As if the automatic 5 lb. weight gain, courtesy of The Bloat, wasn't bad enough during PMS week, I also have this irresistible driving need to eat everything in sight. As if I really need to eat 3 frozen York Peppermint Patties, a bag of microwave popcorn, 2 scoops of peanut butter and 3 chocolate santas* in ONE sitting (I don't. Really, brain, I don't).


Not my bagel, but close enough
Dear Toaster:
What the fuck, man, what the fuck? I thought the "Bagel" button was a special button you pushed when you wanted to toast a bagel, thus setting up some sort of magical toaster toasting technique that would result in a perfectly toasted bagel, and not, for example, a crunchy, blackened, nearly-inedible disc of whole wheat baked dough. Am I wrong?


Big Heads
Facebook chains. Or whatever the fuck you call them. I hate 'em. "97% of you won't repost this." Well no shit. That's because they're lame. Which makes you lame. And you show everybody just how lame you are by reposting the damn things. And for the record, reposting some lame-o status update to Facebook doesn't bring attention to anything. I mean, who is it that's supposed to be paying attention? Are there some mighty Big Heads perusing everyone's Facebook status updates who are all like, "Whoa. Did you see this? All these people on Facebook reposted the same status update. It must be important. Huh. Hey, fellow Big Head, have you ever heard of do-mes-tic vi-o-lence? Yeah, me neither. I'm so glad we have Facebook to bring our attention to this problem Let's go tell the world!" 

Hey Lame-os! If you really want to make a difference, go donate money to a charity or do some other charitable act. Telling the Facebook world what color your bra is doesn't accomplish a goddamn thing.


I'm really enjoying having a doggy visitor for a week, but DAMN! am I hating those 6:30 am "business" walks.


Why, oh wby, must sucralose be in EVERYTHING? Just give me sugar, and stop putting some fake, nasty-tasting, chemical in my food!


* apparently "santas" is not really a word. My spell check wants me to change it to "snatch" or "Satan". WTH?

Saturday, December 4, 2010

The Christmas Spirit

The infamous C.S. (that would be Christmas Spirit) hit me last weekend after returning home from Thanksgiving in NY. So I put the tree up. It's been a few years since I last put up the tree, so I was pleasantly surprised to discover some of my favorite ornaments all over again. I also threw on my creative cap and made some of my own this year, seeing as how I felt the tree was lacking in the cool department (what with all the gifted ornaments on the tree that weren't quite my style).

Please forgive the awful photography. My digital camera and I are not friends.

p.s. Is it just me, or is the tree waaaayyyyy crooked?
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