shhh... it's a secret
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

PMS is Making Me Fat: And Other Complaints No One Cares About

       
The sensation of fatness
As if the automatic 5 lb. weight gain, courtesy of The Bloat, wasn't bad enough during PMS week, I also have this irresistible driving need to eat everything in sight. As if I really need to eat 3 frozen York Peppermint Patties, a bag of microwave popcorn, 2 scoops of peanut butter and 3 chocolate santas* in ONE sitting (I don't. Really, brain, I don't).

***

Not my bagel, but close enough
Dear Toaster:
What the fuck, man, what the fuck? I thought the "Bagel" button was a special button you pushed when you wanted to toast a bagel, thus setting up some sort of magical toaster toasting technique that would result in a perfectly toasted bagel, and not, for example, a crunchy, blackened, nearly-inedible disc of whole wheat baked dough. Am I wrong?

***

Big Heads
Facebook chains. Or whatever the fuck you call them. I hate 'em. "97% of you won't repost this." Well no shit. That's because they're lame. Which makes you lame. And you show everybody just how lame you are by reposting the damn things. And for the record, reposting some lame-o status update to Facebook doesn't bring attention to anything. I mean, who is it that's supposed to be paying attention? Are there some mighty Big Heads perusing everyone's Facebook status updates who are all like, "Whoa. Did you see this? All these people on Facebook reposted the same status update. It must be important. Huh. Hey, fellow Big Head, have you ever heard of do-mes-tic vi-o-lence? Yeah, me neither. I'm so glad we have Facebook to bring our attention to this problem Let's go tell the world!" 

Hey Lame-os! If you really want to make a difference, go donate money to a charity or do some other charitable act. Telling the Facebook world what color your bra is doesn't accomplish a goddamn thing.

***

I'm really enjoying having a doggy visitor for a week, but DAMN! am I hating those 6:30 am "business" walks.

***

Why, oh wby, must sucralose be in EVERYTHING? Just give me sugar, and stop putting some fake, nasty-tasting, chemical in my food!

***

SIDENOTE:
* apparently "santas" is not really a word. My spell check wants me to change it to "snatch" or "Satan". WTH?

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Meet me... in Montauk

             
Last night (late last night, I might add, yay!) I was watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (again), which, of course, got me thinking and prompted me to pose this question on Facebook:
"If you could permanently erase someone from your memory, would you?"
I was totally unprepared for the debate that followed. Before I share with you the Facebook convo, let me explain where I was coming from with this question. 


I very rarely regret anything in my life. In fact, I tend to regret the things I didn't do over the things that I did do. I truly believe that all the bad decisions and shit storms that have occurred in my life have made me who I am today. And, for the most part, I am happy with that.  

On the other hand, there are moments when I have a hard time getting over the good things and good people in my life that are no longer present. And yes, while it could be argued that they have also made me who I am, sometimes the good memories are just too painful to keep re-living. So yes, sometimes, I wonder if I wouldn't be better off not remembering what once was. 

And now onto the Facebook convo, because I'm sure you're all just dying to read it:

OBG If you could permanently erase someone from your memory, would you?

Barcelona Eternal Sunshine style? Hard to say. I've certainly considered it though! Ugh.

SMos No, however the reason we begin to forget or things become less clear over time is a human defense mechanism (Radiolab, 2009)

Barcelona A g r e e d .

OBG @ Barcelona- Yes, E.S. style. I'm more inclined to erase the good memories, not the bad ones
@ SMos- Huh. And when exactly does that start kicking in?

SMos hopefully soon ;)
Btw I ♥ the little boy's facial expression in your profile pic on the left

Minced Fish It seems to me that forgetting people is a pretty shitty defense mechanism. I wouldn't want to forget what I have learned from the people I would have been better off not knowing.

Conch Shell HELLA yes, with a capital hella.

OBG @ SMos- That's Ben. He and I are best buds.
@ Minced Fish- Good point. You are wise (good lord, don't tell anyone I said that).

OBG @ Conch Shell- :)

Twin Yes.

Twin No. I change my mind.

Mama A Defense mechanism? And here I thought it was just aging....

Hoopster Nah-everyone (even those who suck) turns you into who you are. Everything is a lesson learned. I look at it that way.

Foxy Lady YUP...

Capitol OH yeah...... I wish I could permanently erase 2 or so years!!!

BC I don't think so. No matter how much you may dislike someone, if it wasnt for them you wouldnt be who you are today. Pretty corny right?

Capitol Yeah really corny and I think there is some truth to that but you are who you are.... and I dont think that every person that comes into your life changes it.... I see hundreds of people everyday but I dont think they change my life at all.....

BC The fact that you just brought them up in conversation means that they have changed your life. Even people I have never met and have only seen in passing have changed my life. I like myself (for the most part) and I thank everyone for that, even that kid I got in a fight with in junior high school.

Capitol WOW.... thats really deep.... I'm still not sold... you watch too much Lifetime TV.... but thats cool.... I get it.... I guess

BC Well as long as you get it... I guess your life changed a little.

Beautiful Girl i'm so with you BC... you are who you are beacause of the experiances you've had... good, bad, and ugly!

Care to weigh in? What are your thoughts on the subject? Are there things, people or memories in your life you think you would be better off forgetting? Comment away!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Facebook may be my downfall.

I'm sure it will come as no surprise to everyone that my weekends are usually filled with some pretty wild and crazy moments. Many of these moments I would prefer not to relive as they usually involve liquor-fueled antics of Lindsay Lohan magnitude. Of course, I have no problem taming things down a bit for small weekend recaps on this here blog, but it's okay, most of you don't know me IRL, meaning you weren't witness to my weekend shenanigans and therefore I can reveal as little or as much of my shameful behavior to you as I choose. And I am A-okay with that.

Unfortunately, there's this thing that exists now called Facebook. I'm currently involved in a love/hate relationship with Facebook. When I first joined Facebook, it was at the insistence of my sisters and my grad school classmates. Facebook was a great place for me to keep in touch with my sisters, and it was a great place for my grad school chums and I to have open discussions with each other and vent about the horrors of grad school. Of course, then Facebook became a place to reconnect with old high school friends and old college friends and old co-workers and new acquaintances, and so on and so on. 

Where I used to find myself logging on to check out new pics of my nephews or see what important deadline I may have missed, I now find myself logging on to conduct damage control.* For some bizarre reason, there are people out there (mostly females) who like to bring cameras with them everywhere and document everything they do. It is inevitable that at least one of these people will cross paths with me on the weekends. Unfortunately. In any social situation I'm involved in, I find myself making mental notes of who has cameras/phones, and wondering, "are they friends with me on Facebook"? That way, come Monday morning, when I'm feeling like a living, breathing human being again, I can jump onto Facebook and untag myself in all the incriminating pics, and pray to God that very few of my Facebook friends saw them. 

I am not naive enough to think that people IRL are unaware of my extracurricular activities, but that does not mean that I want everyone and their brothers to know. Believe it or not, it is very important to me to have people respect me. They don't need to like me, but respect me? Yes, please. And nothing can eat away more quickly at someone's respect than a drunken photo. True story. 

There are many different aspects of my life. There are some aspects of my life that I would like to keep separate from each other. I tend to be a very private person (this blog being the exception), and when it comes to the things I do IRL being shared with everyone I know, well, I believe less is more. Unfortunately, Facebook makes this harder and harder to do. For example, my former grad school classmates know me as an intelligent, hard working, respectful, kick-ass art teacher. And yes, they also know that I like to let loose on the weekends, but they have never been witness to my really wild moments, and I would like to keep it this way. These people are my colleagues, my peers. Someday they may even help me to get a job. Someday they may even be my co-workers. I would like to keep their respect.

Unfortunately, not everyone out there thinks the way that I do. There are people who have no problem posting hundreds of pics of themselves drunk and dancing on bar tops. There are people out there who have no problem letting the world know that their lovey-dovey, hunny-bunny, sweetie-pie just came back from work and they're so excited to have them home. I am not one of these people. Of course, I am only human, and from time to time I am prone to a loss of good judgment, resulting in over-sharing on Facebook as well, but these moments are few and far between. I work very hard to try and control what aspects of my life are known to those who barely know me, those who used to know me, those who know me well, and those who know me too well. 

Information and dirt is readily available to anyone who knows where to find it. People are getting fired all the time for Facebook pictures. In fact, this past semester, we had an angry school call our office, demanding to have a student teacher removed from their school because students had found pictures of her posing in a bikini on the internet. They didn't want someone like that in their school. This was mortifying to me because I couldn't imagine how awful that poor girl felt, but what I found to be even more mortifying was that Boss Lady immediately jumped on the web to search for the pics. After she found them, she immediately emailed the link to numerous friends and colleagues, exclaiming, "Can you believe how stupid this student teacher is?" The poor girl has probably had her career ruined before it even began and has now become a bit of a celebrity in our tiny little world.

Embarrassing pics of celebrities can be found everywhere. And when celebs cry to be left alone and go to great lengths to keep their lives private, people inevitably rebut, this is the price you pay to be famous. No one thinks twice about the damage they are doing to others when they gleefully snap away photos of drunk celebs, half-naked celebs, celebs fighting, celebs sans underwear, and so on and so on. 

But what about those of us who aren't celebrities? What about those of us who didn't sign up for full disclosure of our personal lives? How do we keep our antics off the internet and hidden from the world? In a day and age where everyone has digital cameras and iPhones and camera phones and speedy internet access, can we expect our lives to truly remain private?


* I understand that my crazy antics will have to be brought under control, and probably the sooner the better. But regardless, my behavior does not give anyone permission to tag me in every embarrassing photo of me. Thank you very much.

Monday, March 1, 2010

It's my first time...

  
I absolutely had to turn a recent facebook post into a blog post, which I've never done before. This is just too funny to pass up (it's quite possible this is only funny to me, and I'm okay with that. My humor is often underappreciated).

(click on this to get the whole effect. you won't regret it. I think)
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