Sunday Confessions : #6-8

   

Come forward and step into my confessional booth 

where all our dirty little secrets can be shared.

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 Sunday Confessions:

 

#6- I've been wearing the same pair of jeans for the past ten days. With no laundering in between. Same pair. Ten days. The level of comfort they have attained is indescribable. (p.s. Febreeze is my friend)

#7- I've stopped washing my hair. Everyday. I've stopped washing my hair everyday. What I mean is, I now wash my hair every other day.

#8- I believe chicken wings were never meant to see the light of day. Let me clarify. Chicken wings should only be consumed in the comforts of a poorly lit bar with cheap beer and good friends. Not in a well lit living room. Gross.

Sunday Confessions: #4-5

         

Come forward and step into my confessional booth 

where all our dirty little secrets can be shared.

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 Sunday Confessions:

 

#4-  Sometimes, after all the pickles in the jar are gone, I like to drink the pickle juice. Not all of it. Just a tablespoon or two. I'm only a little bit ashamed of this.

#5- I only pretend to be concerned when my students fall out of their chairs. Inside I'm really laughing and thinking, "Told you so."

Despite my lack of religious proclivity, I believe confession is good for us all. 

What would you like to confess today?

Sunday Confessions: #1-3

      

Sunday. The day of rest. Many people spend this day being "productive", doing things like attending church, working around the house, grocery shopping, or gardening.

Me?

Well, I can't be bothered with those time wasters as I'm too busy doing other extremely important things. Like sleeping in or recovering from a hangover or watching TV in my pajamas or drinking coffee or boozing it up or fornicating, among many other various good-for-the-soul activities. I admit, being as productive as I am on a Sunday may not seem very restful to the outside observer, however, I assure you, my mind, body and soul finds these sorts of strenuous activities very restful.

In an attempt to further convince you that I take this day of rest very seriously, I have decided to take the Sunday thing one step further. To the confession booth. Despite my lack of religious proclivity, I believe confession is good for us all.

So without further ado, please come forward and step into my confessional booth where all our dirty little secrets can be shared.

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 Sunday Confessions:

#1- Sometimes, if we're out of toilet paper, I'll pee while in the shower. Shhh...

#2- I can't stand the use of "LOL". I don't use it, I don't think I have ever used it, and I don't intend on ever using it. In fact, I'm seriously considering un-friending the people who do use it just because I can not stand reading it at the end of every sentence, status update and comment these people type.

#3- One of these days my dirty mind is going to get me into trouble when I take attendance in some of my art classes. Seriously. It has a tendency to turn some names into, uh, well, inappropriate words. For example...

Laiba- My brain turns this into Labia (real pronunciation, Li-ba)
Faiq- My brain turns this into Fawk which isn't a far cry from Fuck (real pronunciation, Fike)
Valeria- My brain turns this into Venereal not, as you might expect, Malaria (real pronunciation, Va-lair-ia)