Sunday Confessions: #1-3

      

Sunday. The day of rest. Many people spend this day being "productive", doing things like attending church, working around the house, grocery shopping, or gardening.

Me?

Well, I can't be bothered with those time wasters as I'm too busy doing other extremely important things. Like sleeping in or recovering from a hangover or watching TV in my pajamas or drinking coffee or boozing it up or fornicating, among many other various good-for-the-soul activities. I admit, being as productive as I am on a Sunday may not seem very restful to the outside observer, however, I assure you, my mind, body and soul finds these sorts of strenuous activities very restful.

In an attempt to further convince you that I take this day of rest very seriously, I have decided to take the Sunday thing one step further. To the confession booth. Despite my lack of religious proclivity, I believe confession is good for us all.

So without further ado, please come forward and step into my confessional booth where all our dirty little secrets can be shared.

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 Sunday Confessions:

#1- Sometimes, if we're out of toilet paper, I'll pee while in the shower. Shhh...

#2- I can't stand the use of "LOL". I don't use it, I don't think I have ever used it, and I don't intend on ever using it. In fact, I'm seriously considering un-friending the people who do use it just because I can not stand reading it at the end of every sentence, status update and comment these people type.

#3- One of these days my dirty mind is going to get me into trouble when I take attendance in some of my art classes. Seriously. It has a tendency to turn some names into, uh, well, inappropriate words. For example...

Laiba- My brain turns this into Labia (real pronunciation, Li-ba)
Faiq- My brain turns this into Fawk which isn't a far cry from Fuck (real pronunciation, Fike)
Valeria- My brain turns this into Venereal not, as you might expect, Malaria (real pronunciation, Va-lair-ia)