shhh... it's a secret

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Pros and Cons of Being Knocked Up (and I don't mean in the British sense)

Pro: I don't have to worry about whether or not the scant number of tampons left in the box will get me through this month's "visit".
Con: I'm pretty sure the bloody mess at the end of this ride will more than make up for it.

Pro: No more tumultuous and psychotic PMS.
Con: I now cry at the drop of a hat. Or the fall of a student. Or while I'm standing in front of the pantry trying to figure out what to bring for lunch. Or during commercials. Or TV shows. Or upon receiving texts. Or when my Kindergartners just won't SIT DOWN AND GET TO WORK AND STOP CALLING MY NAME OVER AND OVER AGAIN. You get the picture.

Pro: A medically valid reason for gaining weight.
Con: After spending half my life trying to either maintain or lose weight, a guaranteed progression of weight gain is kind of hard to accept.

Pro: Food cravings. Especially the ones for healthy things, like fruit.
Con: Food cravings. Especially the ones for fruit flavored candy. And chili dogs. Mmmm... chili dogs... (which, by the way, I never ate before becoming knocked up).

Pro: Bigger breasts.
Con: Bigger breasts.

Pro: A slow down in hair growth on parts of my body that aren't the top of my head.
Con: Who am I kidding? This doesn't have a con.
Pro: People seem validly concerned about my health and well-being.
Con: The increase in attention and question slinging directed my way.
Pro: Having an excuse for being tired/lazy/energetic/cranky/angry/whiny/happy/joyful/bitter/antisocial/stupid/clumsy/forgetful/tearful/giggly
Con: Actually being all of those things. In one day.
Pro: Having loose, relaxed muscles.
Con: Repeatedly dropping platefuls of food on the floor that I just spent many minutes preparing in order to calm my growing, raging hunger.


24 more weeks to go.


McGriddle Pants said...

I'm so behind! Congrats! Exciting times :)

One Blonde Girl said...

@ McGriddle- Thanks!

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