shhh... it's a secret

Monday, March 7, 2011

Previously on OBG... Season 2 Premiere

                       
Although inspired in part by a true incident, 
the following story is fictional 
and does not depict any actual person or event...
except that it does.

Last Season on OBG...
 
...  New glasses were purchased, Snood was played, there was a hiatus for God only knows what reason (read: probably a hangover), 4th of July was a wreck, bar brawls almost broke out, a bunch of people in a bar talked about their kids, meaningless shit was discussed, hippies were puking in porta-potties, and people were stupid. What does this season have in store for us? Let's find out.

Scene Begins.
 
We're in the kitchen of OBG's townhouse, around 5:00 pm, on a Saturday night. OBG and the G-Man are on their way to a surprise 40th birthday party. OBG has just finished whipping up some appetizers, has removed the Brie en Croute from the oven, and is about to put the hot plate of golden cheese stuffed bread onto the serving platter when she notices something unusual. The G-Man is poking holes in the aluminum foil covering the mushroom turnovers. The act of hole poking isn't so unusual as it is beneficial for allowing the release of built up steam, thus preventing the turnovers from becoming soggy, but what is so unusual is that the G-Man has taken it upon himself to poke the holes without being asked to (OBG was about to do it after she dealt with the Brie en Croute). Thoroughly impressed, slightly taken aback and a tad bit distracted, OBG proceeds to move the plate of Brie to the serving platter.

"MOTHER FUCKER!"
 
With a sudden clatter, the plate of Brie finds it's way back to the stove top as OBG, with tears streaming down her face, proceeds to nurse the burned fingers on her right hand. But not before putting the pot holder she was holding in her left hand down on the counter.

End Scene.

This Season on OBG...
... What will this season bring for OBG? Will a new home, a new town, and the presence of new people bring exciting and interesting experiences for OBG (Ed's Note: Probably not.)? Will "pregnancy brain" and the impending birth of a baby have any impact on OBG's everyday life (Ed's Note: Probably)? Did OBG really leave her house and attend a surprise birthday party in her bedroom slippers (Ed's Note: Yes she did.)? And with alcohol off the table, will OBG's weekends be exciting at all? Will the audience even care? Is this the season OBG jumps the shark (Ed's Note: Apparently the introduction of new characters has that effect)? With all these Editor's Notes, do we even need to tune in for the next episode (Ed's Note: ...)?

Stay tuned to find out the answers to at least one of these questions and to the questions you never even knew you had.

4 comments:

Krista said...

I hope you're not expecting that kind of food at your shower! Brie en Croute? Mushroom Turnovers? WTF?

:-)

One Blonde Girl said...

@ Krista- It sounds fancier than it really it is. You just plop a round of Brie inside crescent rolls and wrap. Done. (But don't tell anyone, cause they were all really impressed.) Oh, and don't worry, Brie is on the list of Can't Have Foods.

Hope said...

You can totally blame the slippers on pregnancy brain.

One Blonde Girl said...

@ Hope- Totally.

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