Although inspired in part by a true incident,
the following story is fictional
and does not depict any actual person or event...
except that it does.
When we last left OBG...
... she was terrified that she was going to kill off her blog because she's a working stiff now with a real job. She was toeing the racist line and had already managed to isolate herself from the group of people who were supposed to be her support group throughout her first year teaching in the county. She's been working her butt off at work, often arriving before 8:00am and leaving around 5:30-6:00pm. With at least an hour commute both ways, OBG was feeling the pains of commuting after only two weeks. Seeing as how OBG and the G-Man work a few streets away from each other, they felt carpooling together once or twice a week would be wise.
We now join OBG on Friday morning setting off for work with the G-Man on their trial run of car pooling.
The G-Man (skeptical): What?
The G-Man: Oh, yeah. It'll sure make traffic a lot more tolerable with someone else in the car.
OBG (with a naive amount of giddiness): And you get to Kiss 'n Ride me too!
The G-Man: ...
Having quickly recovered from the TWSS moment (Ed's Note: A goodie, no doubt, but still not good enough to outdo the OBG TWSS golden oldie moment of '07) we now join OBG, on Sunday morning, eating breakfast in the kitchen with the G-Man, Upstairs Mike and Upstairs Mike's kids, the Asian Dumplings.*
Ms. OBG: When, boys and girls, would you want your feet to be really fast? (taps quiet Kindergarten girl, who is sitting criss-crossed applesauce with her hand raised, on the head with her magic wand)
Kindergarten Girl: Your eyes are oval shaped.
Ms. OBG: Uh... yes, yes they are... great observation...
In-Head OBG: Where were you 40 minutes ago when I asked the class what objects were shaped like ovals? Geez, kid, try to keep up, would ya?
Next time on OBG...
... Was the carpooling a success? Will OBG carpool with the G-Man again even though she spent a majority of the ride with her eyes closed tight while in great fear for her life? Is Upstairs Mike really that sexist (Ed's Note: Uh, yeah, it appears so)? Why did the dog of the house insist on waking OBG up at a quarter of one in the morning, begging to go outside? Is OBG really getting sick? Will the source of her sickness ever be discovered (Ed's Note: Uh, yeah, it was, you can read about it here at Art Teachers Hate Glitter)? Will Kindergartners ever learn to pay attention?
Stay tuned for the next episode of OBG, where all of these questions will be answered. Or none of them. It could go either way.
* (Ed's Note: For the record, this is not a nickname I gave the kids, but a nickname that was already bestowed upon them prior to my arrival)
Hold the phone, folks, I think something must be wrong with your TIVO (What do you mean, "How do you know we TIVOed this episode of Previously on OBG?" Hello! Previously on OBG episodes air on Mondays, unless I'm mistaken, it is now Friday, so...). It seems your TIVO botched again and lost half of this episode. Either that, or someone forgot the blatantly sexist story they were going to tell and quickly had to cover it up with a funny classroom story. Personally, I think it's your TIVO.