RST: Laptops, underwear, and awkward social isolation.

            

        

It's Tuesday, which means, time again for another Random Shit Tuesday! 

My randomness...

The new guy

I finally have a new laptop, y'all (hey, I'm technically in the south, right? Although I was informed a year ago that anything north of Woodbridge, VA is, well, the North...). My school district (or as it seems to work outside of NY, the county) provides all of its employees with brand new laptops to use (and take home). I've been hesitant to use it for personal use this first week because, well, I'm lazy. My old laptop has all my usernames and passwords on file (that's how it works, right?), all favorites bookmarked, and all my settings set just the way I like them. I haven't really had any time to do the same on this little guy (he is smaller than my old laptop. Lighter too). And if I must be honest with you, I really like the familiarity and comfort of my old laptop. My fingers aren't quite familiar with the smaller keyboard and bright blue lights on the new one yet. *Sigh* On the other hand, the new guy is very quiet and quicker (these qualities do not transfer to human new guys. At least not as a positive. Nor do the other qualities I listed above, for that matter. Just in case you were wondering).

And, as promised...

1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!111!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!111!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!

I tried to not copy and paste, which, of course, was what I was sick of doing in the first place, which is why I was so excited to be getting a laptop with all its buttons again, but damn! Typing '1' and '!' over and over again is taxing on the Shift finger.

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And for the record, this is the last time I use Internet Explorer to blog. It sucks. I apologize for any misspellings you might happen across. I usually rely heavily on the red dotted lines that Firefox provides me with. IE makes me check my spelling on my own. And it won't let me open things up in new tabs and insists on opening new windows. This just might be more obnoxious (to me) than the 1/! problem.

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Sometimes I feel like I lack some serious training on how to be a girl or something. For example, when left at home alone for the weekend, I walk around the house in my underwear, I don't shower or dress until 9:00 pm, beer and microwave popcorn becomes a suitable meal, everything goes into the dishwasher (and I do mean EVERYTHING), wet towels are left on the bedroom floor, and deodorant is optional.

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And did I mention that all of my pictures are on my other laptop? *Sigh*

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Last night I inadvertently set myself apart from the district's other new elementary art teachers during our training seminar by NOT following directions and doing it my way instead. No one wanted to work near me after that.

Now I know how the ADD kid feels.

For the record, I prefer wavy lines on my charts opposed to straight and I'm not sure why it wasn't okay that instead of trying to cram 6 pages of line & texture samples onto a too small piece of tag board, I took a pair of scissors to mine and made tiles. I should have been praised for thinking outside of the box and not made to feel stupid because my samples weren't the same as everyone elses.

And that's all I have to say about that.

                            

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Feel free to quit me at anytime, folks. I shall not be offended (not too much, any way).

Everyone loves a meme. Wait... what do you mean, "No they don't"?

   

Fuck it. It's my blog and I'm doing one anyways. This meme is brought to us by pieces of me, who I came across at...

(you've joined, right?)

Here goes...

Outside my window… there is darkness, and from the sounds of it, insects.

So… I am thinking… I could use another glass of wine. And I'm kind of feeling homesick and lonely.

I am thankful for… having a job. Finally.

I’m wearing… boy shorts and a tank top. Hooray for being home alone.

I am remembering… good times in NY.

I am creating… work for The Sketchbook Project. Images to come soon. Maybe.

I wonder … if I'll ever make it back to the gym or into a regular Pilates routine again. My thighs and love handles are screaming at me to try.

I am going… downstairs to the kitchen for some food. Oh, that's right, I haven't gone grocery shopping, so there is no food. Hmmm...

I am reading… shit. Not a gosh darn thing right now. But I hope to pick a book up again soon.

Song that is playing over and over in my head… "The Joker" by Steve Miller Band because I was searching for Pompatus of Love on Netflix earlier today to see if I could watch it on Instant Queue (I can't) and I got it stuck in my head.

I am hoping… that this new job makes me instead of breaks me. *Sigh* It's going to be a long year.

Pondering these words…. "letting go" is pretty much the same as "giving up", right? So when people advise you to "let go" and "move on," they're basically telling you to "quit" and "settle," right? Let's take, for example, that time I was stressing about not getting a teaching job and having to consider waiting tables, and people kept telling me that plenty of folks out there are working jobs in a field they didn't necessarily want to be in, and that maybe I should just suck it up and do the same thing (I'm paraphrasing). Well, guess what, I didn't listen, and I didn't give up, and I got a job doing what I want to do, so... IN YOUR FACE, people. Wait, that wasn't the point... my point is, "letting go" isn't always the way to go, right? I think holding on to hope is o-kay too.

From the kitchen… microwave popcorn, wine and frozen berries.

Around the house… everything is beige and French Country. I hate beige and French Country. I can't wait to move again.

One of my favorite things…  is receiving surprise texts that make my heart feel good.

Doh… I totally just thought the wind blowing my bedroom blinds against the window was the sounds of footsteps coming up the driveway. And this is why I should never be left alone without adult supervision. Well, that and the fact that I am a walking disaster and am a danger to myself. Seriously. I have injuries on top of injuries. I injure myself with injuries. (I don't think I told you about this, but remember that last toe injury I had? Well, before I was able to clean up the damage, I managed to stub the gnarled toe on the heel of my other foot, trip across the driveway, and cut the back of my foot with my injured toe. Yes folks, I am that talented.)

I don’t get… Responsive Intervention Classrooms. How can I manage my classroom without consequences? I really need some training on this.

I do enjoy… time to myself. Being around other people 24/7 really wears on a person.

I am watching… Tin Man. One of my favorite versions of the Wizard of Oz.

A few plans for the rest of the week… work, work, and work. Oh, and a 3 1/2 hour New Employee Orientation and a 3 hour Bright Beginnings seminar. Both on Monday, beginning at 2pm. Ouch.

A picture I would like to share…

I don't think I shared a full image of my wine/liquor bag painting. As you may notice, it's not finished. I don't think I have ever completed any of my work. It's a problem I have. I've given up trying to work on it and have come to accept it.


And that's it, folks.

It's not what you think. I think.

  

I've been quite the busy bee this week. These new jobs are non-stop craziness that I hope will settle down soon (for more, kind of boring, details, read, Be Careful What You Wish For...).  Meanwhile I feel like Jack Torrance holed up in the Overlook Hotel. Minus the bathtub of blood, talking fingers and Shelley Duvall, of course. Kudos to those of you who made the connection with yesterday's creep-o post. If you missed that reference, well, I can only assume we weren't birthed in the same decade.

Young 'uns these days. What's the world coming to?

I'm trying with all my might to not kill off this blog. But holy shit, folks, I'm tired. 5:00 am to 7:00 pm makes for a very, very long day. And when I finally get home, the last thing I want to do is... well... anything, really. All I really want to do is collapse on the first flat surface I encounter and just pass... the fuck... out.

That being said, I have the entire house to myself this weekend (and I can assure you, ever since that strange man walked up from the basement and into the kitchen last night, the doors are locked ALL. THE FUCKING. TIME. now.), and I will probably have some time while I'm making breakfast  my popcorn's in the microwave to whip up some clever posts. You've been warned.

Wendy, I'm home.

I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. All work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. Redrum. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. We are experiencing some technical difficulties. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. Please stay tuned. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog. I will not kill this blog.

An OBG PSA: Put Down the Duckie

    
There's a fire in your house, what would you go back for?

Your morning alarm goes off, what's the first thing you reach for?

It's late and you're in bed, what nighttime ritual do you perform before hitting the hay?

You're in a restaurant enjoying good food, good beer and good company, what's in your hand?

Complete this sentence, "I would be lost without..."


If you answered "my smart phone", or any version of that phrase to any of the above questions, guess what, folks? 

YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM!!

Yup, that's right, you're an addict. Consider this your intervention. On behalf of your loved ones, I implore you...

PUT DOWN THE GODDAMN DUCKIE!*

*The duckie being your smart phone, and in the vid below, "play the saxophone" can be substituted with just about any activity. Like cooking. Or driving. Or having sex.

And for those of you who aren't addicts, you're still gonna wanna watch this clip. Trust me.

What does Jane Curtain, Pee Wee Herman, Mark Ingram and Jeremy Irons all have in common?

They're in this clip.

Curious. Does this pic creep anyone else out? I fear for Snuffy's trunk. (click to enlarge. TWHS!!)

You're kind creepy, Keith.

RST: Glue, crocheted beards, sexism, lanyards, tater tots, and ModCloth love.

       

        

It's Tuesday, which means, time again for another Random Shit Tuesday! 

My randomness...

           

(Source)

I would love to know what glue is used on those pesky apple stickers that I now use a knife to remove. I can think of a ton of other applications for this miracle glue. Like fixing peeling wallpaper. Or hemming pants because I don't know how to sew. Or hanging posters up on cement brick walls. Or reattaching the rubber stumps on the bottom of my laptop. Or sealing envelopes. Or hanging a 50 lb. mirror on the wall directly above my precious Hummel collection.* For real, that glue is some serious shit. 

* I don't have a Hummel collection, per se. I don't think I used "per se" correctly here.

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(Source)

This item made it on a list of stupidest inventions that I read about on Are You Serious? by Midwestern Mama Holly, but I think they're pretty awesome. What do you think? 

                          

I know what everyone on my Christmas list will be getting this year. You can find many styles available from the Etsy shop, taraduff. And I think it's great that Tara's family fully supports her endeavors. Check out her blog, where you can find a pic of the entire family donning this "stupidest invention".
                         

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(Source)

I hate generalizations and the stupid people who make them. I don't make them, and I don't expect people to make them about me. It's insulting. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I have a burning desire to control all the money or that I have out-of-control spending habits. So shut the fuck up. You don't know me.*

And while we're on the topic of sexism, asking a woman how she feels now that she's "joined the world of working women" is just as insulting as asking her how she manages to tie her apron with a spatula in her hand before she makes you dinner. Stupid man.** I can't even begin to imagine why two wives have left you.

* I've always wanted to use this phrase, but I don't really foresee an appearance on Jerry Springer or Maury in my future. Are those shows still on?

** Notice I didn't say "men", because, as I mentioned, I don't making generalizations and am directing my disgust towards one man in particular.

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It seems I must now wear my face around my neck every weekday. Because of this, I am on the hunt for a cool and stylish lanyard. I'm not sure they exist. Of course, my search first took me to Etsy. (duh). I found some kind of interesting ones, but not quite as cool as I was hoping for. Of course, I would like some input on this.

At first, I thought I wanted a beaded lanyard. This one, "Painter's Palette" by LANYARD LADY is kind of neat, but then I started thinking that this might be a little too Artsy Fartsy. I know what you're thinking, "but OBG, you are an art teacher." You're right, however I pride myself on not being one of those art teachers. Plus, it seems like all the other teachers with unique lanyards have beaded ones, thus rendering them no longer unique.

Then I thought something like this one, "Silver Tiki" by curlynetto would be a good idea. One can rarely ever rely on the classroom clocks to be accurate, and ever since the battery died in my watch (three? four? years ago), I haven't worn one. Then I decided that the watch style of beaded lanyards all tend to be a tad too old ladyish for my taste. Plus, like I said before, everyone seems to do the beaded thing.

Having become quite tired of the beaded thing, I decided to venture into the world of fabric lanyards, like this "Seaglass" one by sewgracious. There appears to be a wide variety of options when it comes to fabric lanyards, which is good, however, knowing how fickle I am, I would be afraid that I'd pick one out that I like right now, but would soon tire of it three months down the road.

Giving up on the lanyard idea altogether, I decided to check out retractable badge reels like "Sock Monkey" here by kimberlyk. I think these guys are, gosh darn-it, just the cutest little monkeys that ever did decorate a badge reel. On the other hand, I've had badge reels before and I know how frequently I get them caught on things and how often I break them. It would break my heart if I broke my monkey.

Not quite willing to give up on the lanyard style, I did another search and came across this wondrous "Custom Geek Lanyard" by PeriwinkleDynz. You may have noticed that this lanyard is not only made of beads, but also of resistors. Having harbored a secret crush on resistors since my days of high school science (don't judge), I thought this lanyard was super-d-duper fantastic. (Doctor Who, Picard, Tron, Flux Capacitor, Boobs).


So what do you all think? Should I go with one of the ones above, or do you have other recommendations?
   

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(Source)

Cheese has no business being in sushi. 
      

Sushi has no business being served warm.
       

That being said, when being consumed along side $3 PBRs, nontraditional sushi ain't that bad.

In completely unrelated news (but not really), I ate at Sticky Rice in DC for the first time the other night. Apparently they're well known for their tater tots. And I have to admit, they were good. And not at all like the smooshie, soggy tots from your school's cafeteria. The G-Man and my other two housemates go there frequently. Apparently one of them (who may or may not be the individual I was referring to a minute ago) is good friends with the owner. Or something like that. You may recall that time I randomly ended up in a DC restaurant after partying in a field at a wine festival in Virginia. Same guy. Different restaurant.

(I had sushi for dinner the other night in Reston, at the Ariake Japanese Restaurant as well. It was probably one of the best authentic sushi experiences I've had. And the best part? It's right down the road from my new jobs!)
     

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I am so super excited to be getting a paycheck again. I'm in dire need of some real work appropriate clothing. It seems I've weeded out most of the clothes I used to wear to work because a) they no longer fit b) they were no longer in style or c) I no longer liked them. I've already started window shopping on ModCloth in anticipation of that first check. Here's a few items I'm coveting.

And you can be damn sure I'll be popping back over to Anthropologie again. After all, I now work minutes away from their store.

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And that's about it for my randomness. Today is my first day of work with students, so if I manage to survive, you can be sure to see me back here tomorrow. Happy Tuesday.

Now Robot Friendly

       

Source

And you can thank Twig for that.

But that actually has nothing at all to do with this post. I just wanted to let the robots out there know.

Plus, I'm trying to up my geek traffic, so I figure if I frequently use the word "robot" and maybe even "Futurama", I might attract the Geek-Squad. I'm not really sure why this is a new goal of mine, I guess I just thought it would be a fun challenge.

Robot.

Futurama. 

Where was I again? Oh, right.

So, the last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of crazy business. 

In the span of (less than?) two weeks, I had two interviews, was hired for two .40 elementary art positions, gained two classrooms at two different schools, lost one of those classrooms but gained art on a cart, went "camping", lost art on a cart and was told a new classroom was being built, traveled into DC for in-service training with the other 230+ ART teachers in my school system, met and potentially made some new friends, confirmed that I am now permanently certified to teach in NY, had another job interview and was hired at another school, gained another classroom, questioned my antics in March and pondered on the F book whether or not I got wasted and blew a leprechaun, survived the stress of a TB test, started drinking milk again (in chocolate form. It's all about the baby steps, folks), and... I think that's about it. I think.

Everyone should have in-service training here.

Phew.

Let's flashback for a moment. Remember when I graduated with my MASTERS back in May? Remember how that was all I talked about? I'm going to try so super hard not to do that now. I mean, I have an entirely separate blog for that, right? Right. But I'm excited, so please forgive me this week while I go on and on about how wonderful life is right now (check back next week, after I've had students, and I might be singing a different tune).

But if you think I've been too Cheery Cheri for your taste this week, you will be happy (bastards) to hear that I realized today that my new work schedule will mean that I will not be able to adopt a shelter dog like I had been hoping to do. It just wouldn't be fair to make a dog sit at home all day by itself. I've been there, done that, and I can tell you, I wouldn't wish that experience on any four-legged creature (except cats).

 Alas, we were not meant to be together, dear, sweet puppies.

If only some program existed that allowed me to adopt a dog for the weekends. Like a doggieshare. He (or she) could live with a loving, caring person with lots of free-time during the week and then live with a loving, caring person (me!) on the weekends.

*Sigh*

Anysadness, tomorrow will be my last day before students start. I haven't done a lick of work on any of my classrooms, so I'll probably be working late. I also get to have my fingerprints done and my official badge made. Oh, and I get my laptop too. Yeah, that's right, every teacher gets their own laptop for the year. Be on the lookout for a plethora of !s and 1s from me in the future.