shhh... it's a secret

Friday, August 13, 2010

Writing this post was a big waste of time. So would be reading it.

There's no denying it, my laptop's on its last legs. Which I mean quite literally as 3 out of 4 of those little rubber stumps on the bottom of my laptop have melted off. And I mean that literally too. My laptop gets so hot that the glue holding those babies on melted and the rubber stumps keep falling off. I've thought about glue gunning them back on, but never got around to it.

At any rate, my computer is slower than death right now (what does that even mean? How slow is death?) and so everything I try to do on it takes a hundred times longer. For example, right now I'm waiting for an email to send. 

And for your entertainment, here's a list of things I've done while waiting:

Things I Do While Waiting for Shit to Happen (aka Pages to Load)

1. Searched for a '1' that I could copy and paste into this post so I could have a number 1 on my list, thinking it might confuse you all if I started out with '2'.

2. Wrote this post.

3. Ate breakfast.

4. Sat on the couch and squirted things around the room with a water gun to see what kind of reach it had.

5. Spoke to Manjit, a service rep with my credit card company, so I could activate my new card that should have been activated three months ago when my old one expired (shows you how much I use my credit card, right? Which is a good thing, by the way, because it means I never use it. Of course, the fact that I just activated it indicates that I have a suspicion I might have to use it in the near future.)

6. Looked up Indian names for #5 because I thought using "Punjab", the only Indian name that came to mind, would make me sound racist.

7. Checked to see if, after 20 minutes, my email has sent yet/reset itself/acknowledged that I canceled the action/moved on from the screen it's been on for the past 20 minutes. (It hasn't)

8. Contemplated trashing this post because it seems boring (but not wanting to be a quitter, I'm pushing through).

9. Continued to get pissed off because of the "Unresponsive Scripts" messages that pop up on my computer EVERY 5 MINUTES. (Seriously, does anyone know how to resolve this issue?)

Ten. Made this illustration to demonstrate how frustrated I am (click on the pic for a more detailed view). 

Eleven. Checked my email tab again and realized that it must have froze entirely.

Twelve. Wondered if my sis ever received the email I was trying to send or if I would have to attempt to recreate it.

Thirteen. Cursed out Yahoo.

Fourteen. Cursed out the person who set my computer up to automatically update, thus forcing me to deal with this pop-up every fifteen minutes at the most inconvenient times.

Fourteen and a half. (Because I thought of something else after finishing my list but didn't want to renumber it) Tried to figure out how to stop this pop-up from appearing EVERY FIFTEEN MINUTES, but failed.

Fifteen. Made this illustration to show you how much I hate inconvenient pop-ups. I admit, I could have put some more effort into it and done a better job, but I've got a To Do list to complete today. (click to enlarge)

Sixteen. Finally got around to filling out a change of address form with the Post Office and then wondered what happens with the mail that's already sitting in my PO box back in NY.

Seventeen. Realized I haven't had coffee yet.

Eighteen. Came up with really lame items for this list in the hopes that I would hit 20 so I can stop spelling out the numbers with ones in them.

Nineteen. Sneezed.

20. Gave up on the email and decided to call my sister instead.

Sorry for wasting your time like that. I can't believe I just wasted my time like that. Now off to go do some job searching, which in reality means I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee, use the bathroom and maybe take a shower. And then I'll think about job searching again. After, of course, I scold myself for not going to the gym (again) but then contemplate the internal struggle I have with going to the gym when that time should really be spent job searching. And then I'll probably have lunch. And then I'll probably do some job searching. 

Hope your Friday is more productive than mine. Hope you have a fabulously fun weekend planned. See you all back here on Monday[]


jules said...

I love the visuals. I had a tough time with a customer service rep from Snapfish last night with an Indian accent. I asked him to spell his name for me which he did verrrry slowly, so I'm still not sure. Something about a V and an A though.

Salt said...

I don't see how you could possibly think that reading this post would be a waste of time with those fantastic graphics!

Good luck with the job searching. I take mine with cream and lots of sugar.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

I just laid a computer to rest after she decided to burn the inside of my wrists every time I tried to type on her...
I feel your pain.
This was an awesome waste of time!!!

loveable_homebody said...

Your illustrations really convey the frustration that grew with each step, then your anger seemed to dissipate as you realized the futility of your anger. I hope you get a new computer soon!

Steve G. said...

This post was great - especially the illustrations, haha. Have you pondered a new computer? Even the cheapest models at Best Buy are powerful enough if you want to just browse the Internet and type some things, and my laptop only cost about $300 last year.

DateMeDC said...

This post actually made me laugh out loud in parts (when I clicked to enlarge the drawing, priceless!) so in my humble opinion, it wasn't a waste of time :)

Patricia ~ The Naked Writer said...

sorry you had such a crappy time with your computer!
they are the most frustrating things when they aren't working right...the scripts thing that is coming up could be a virus ...i had the same thing happen on my computer...i think the entire jungle of thailand heard me screaming obscene amounts of obscenities! i almost lost my voice from all the yelling at the inanimate object piece of *&$@
i don't know why we yell guess we have to vent somehow!
haven't been by in a while took a break from blogging and stuff but nice to be back and can't wait to catch up on your posts xo

One Blonde Girl said...

@ Jules- Thanks. Those names sure can be tricky.

@ Salt- Thanks.

@ Mrs. P- My computer is definitely responsible for some painful experiences, both figuratively and literally.

@ loveable_h- Thanks.

@ Steve G.- Uh... it's on the list of things to spend money on once I have a job.

@ DateMeDC- Glad I could entertain you.

@ Patricia- Thanks. Glad to see you back. I would say virus as well if it weren't for the fact that my computer has antivirus software ever since a virus/crashing scare a few months back.

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