The Results Are In

  

Okay, hold on to your tamales, people, the votes are in and the results have been tallied, tabulated, color coded and discriminately validated (What? I watch CNN. I know how these things work.).

Of course, as I'm sure you guessed, I am referring to my Blogger stats.

Yes, I have caved. I have jumped on the band wagon. I am blogging about my blogging stats. Feel free to navigate away from here at any time (I know you only spend an average of 2:25 minutes on here anyways. Google Analytics told me so).

So, without further ado, my measurements number stats (now in color with side boob notes):

Top Ten Search Keywords
!. blondegirl (no surprise there. I am blond)
2. monique montil (who what now? Ohhh... NOW I remember. You all must be just as twisted as I am. Good for you!)
3. one blonde girl (good for you! although I suspect these results may be tarnished by me googling my own blog because I was on a different computer and couldn't remember my URL. Still counts though.)
4. chasing mummies (I like the way you think! Wait, have I ever even talked about "chasing mummies" on here before? I probably should)
5. blonde girl (yawn)
6. caviar (uh-huh... I am all about bringing the class back to the blogging world)
7. cvs locations (now wait just one minute. I am not anymore and never have been a CVS drugstore. Nor can you find one located here anymore)
8. squirrel people (See Monique Montil)
9. "great hopes and massive failures" (the new theme of my life, previously themed "It's only temporary" and "I know you are, but what am I?")
10. "i peed myself" (Um, I thought we were keeping that between you and me?)

NOTE: These results are brought to you by Blogger Stats. Google Analytics results vary slightly and may or may not include search terms like "butt crack", "no underwear", "pee in the woods", and "matt leblanc butt".

Top 6 Referring URLS/Sites That AREN'T Connected to Blogger or Twitter
1. The Sassy Curmudgeon
2. Adventures of a Wayward Duck
3. Sara in Le Petit Village
4. meet me by the water
5. A Vapid Blonde
6. Date me, DC!

NOTE: Thanks all. Your thank you note is in the mail. But not really. I'm out of stamps. Not really. I have plenty of stamps, I just don't want to waste them. Those suckers are getting expensive!

Top Ten OBG Posts
1. RST: Interview, butt crack accidents, Matt LeBlanc, bad drivers, hiking hell, and a note (apparently Matt LeBlanc is still quite popular. Or maybe it was the butt crack)
2. OBG and the MLC (eh, okay)
3. 200 posts later... (and I just realized I had the nerve to include gnarly toe injuries with a pic of my nephew and his 1st birthday cakes. I suck)
4. I'm Watching the Smurfs. Jealous?* (Uh. This one wasn't all that good you guys. Sorry.)
5. It's a Twofer! (the one where I save the planet! Captain Planet would be so proud)
6. Meet Me... In Montauk (whoa. Things got pretty deep here)
7. RST: Glue, crocheted beards, sexism, lanyards, tater tots, and ModCloth love. (with a combo like this, it must be good, huh?)
8. I wasn't going to blog today, but... (Oh right, the one where I have an orange circle on my boob)
9. Cub Scouts are judgy motherf*ers. (One of my favs)
10. Everyone loves a meme. Wait... what do you mean, "No they don't"? (Seriously guys? Seriously?)

And there you have it. For those of you who are left, thanks. For what, you ask? Got me. I guess for reading and liking me enough to stick around for a couple of minutes.

Now Robot Friendly

       

Source

And you can thank Twig for that.

But that actually has nothing at all to do with this post. I just wanted to let the robots out there know.

Plus, I'm trying to up my geek traffic, so I figure if I frequently use the word "robot" and maybe even "Futurama", I might attract the Geek-Squad. I'm not really sure why this is a new goal of mine, I guess I just thought it would be a fun challenge.

Robot.

Futurama. 

Where was I again? Oh, right.

So, the last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of crazy business. 

In the span of (less than?) two weeks, I had two interviews, was hired for two .40 elementary art positions, gained two classrooms at two different schools, lost one of those classrooms but gained art on a cart, went "camping", lost art on a cart and was told a new classroom was being built, traveled into DC for in-service training with the other 230+ ART teachers in my school system, met and potentially made some new friends, confirmed that I am now permanently certified to teach in NY, had another job interview and was hired at another school, gained another classroom, questioned my antics in March and pondered on the F book whether or not I got wasted and blew a leprechaun, survived the stress of a TB test, started drinking milk again (in chocolate form. It's all about the baby steps, folks), and... I think that's about it. I think.

Everyone should have in-service training here.

Phew.

Let's flashback for a moment. Remember when I graduated with my MASTERS back in May? Remember how that was all I talked about? I'm going to try so super hard not to do that now. I mean, I have an entirely separate blog for that, right? Right. But I'm excited, so please forgive me this week while I go on and on about how wonderful life is right now (check back next week, after I've had students, and I might be singing a different tune).

But if you think I've been too Cheery Cheri for your taste this week, you will be happy (bastards) to hear that I realized today that my new work schedule will mean that I will not be able to adopt a shelter dog like I had been hoping to do. It just wouldn't be fair to make a dog sit at home all day by itself. I've been there, done that, and I can tell you, I wouldn't wish that experience on any four-legged creature (except cats).

 Alas, we were not meant to be together, dear, sweet puppies.

If only some program existed that allowed me to adopt a dog for the weekends. Like a doggieshare. He (or she) could live with a loving, caring person with lots of free-time during the week and then live with a loving, caring person (me!) on the weekends.

*Sigh*

Anysadness, tomorrow will be my last day before students start. I haven't done a lick of work on any of my classrooms, so I'll probably be working late. I also get to have my fingerprints done and my official badge made. Oh, and I get my laptop too. Yeah, that's right, every teacher gets their own laptop for the year. Be on the lookout for a plethora of !s and 1s from me in the future.