I (finally) explain myself. Or something like that.

    

You may find yourself making a trip to the grocery store for butter and sour cream.

And you may find yourself purchasing pickles as well.

And you may find yourself also buying chocolate chip cookies.

You may find yourself in the candy aisle, with a bag of Starbursts in your hand.

You may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"*

And your answer to the above question will probably be one of the following:

1. "I'm stoned, again."
2. "I'm shopping while hungry, again."
3. "I'm shopping while pregnant, again." -or-
4. "I'm shopping while frustrated with work, again."

If you're like me though, your answer to the above question will be

5. All of the above except for #1 (that sort of thing is generally frowned upon while being #3).

Yup, that's right folks, you read that correctly. I... am... (drum-roll please) HUNGRY! Oh, and I'm pregnant too. Thought I should just throw that out there. It's already "Facebook official," so might as well tell the rest of the world. Here, I'll even share my "making it Facebook official" photo with you:

(Well, technically I am, but by default the G-man is too. Or something like that.)

So, that's been my deal for the past so-and-so many weeks/months. Which is another way of saying I totally blame the person growing inside of me for why I haven't blogged in forever. This being pregnant shit can be rough. But I survived the milestones of the first trimester and am now honeymooning in the second. I didn't realize how bad I was feeling during the first three months until I started feeling good again. Like my stepfather always says, "The best part about pain is when it's over." Amen.

In case you're wondering, "Oh hey, OBG, if you're feeling so great now, how come you're still not back to blogging regularly?" Well, now it seems, despite my return of energy and easing up of nausea, I'm suffering from frequent migraines, and if you know anything about migraines, they make looking at a computer screen feel like there are shards of broken glass being driven through your eyeballs.

(You aren't really affected by this, but I had to share that I needed to take two days off from this post in order to nurse a migraine. I'm back now. Again, I doubt you even noticed.)

You're probably wondering,  "What does this all mean", right? Well, it means my life is in the process of changing significantly, and therefore so will my blog. In fact, I think I touched upon that once or twice before. Don't panic yet though. I have no intention of becoming a "Mommy blogger," not that there's anything wrong with that. There are plenty of Mommy and Daddy bloggers out there that I enjoy and who do a pretty damn good job of writing some pretty gosh darn entertaining shit. I would be lying though if I didn't admit that being a brand new shiny mommy (or mommy-to-be) won't seep it's way into this blog. I'm sure it will. I'll try to keep it to a minimum though.

In the meantime, while I'm still trying (and can find the time) to sort out the direction of this blog, let me answer some FAQs before you ask them. When I'm finished, if you still have questions, you may find the comment section to be a suitable place to ask (that's the teacher in me speaking right there).

OBG Prego FAQs (in no particular order)

When are you due?
In August. About mid-August. August 19th, to be more specific. If you're not any good at pregnancy math (and who is?), that puts me at 15 weeks.

What are you having?
Um, I'm not well learned in the matters of biology, but I'm pretty sure we'll be having a baby. Oh, you meant what is the sex of the baby? Don't know yet. Ask me again in about a month, and if I'm in a good mood, I might decide to tell you. Or not.

Will you and the G-Man be getting married?
Geez folks! We've only been together for 10 years. We should probably give it some time to see if we even like each other before we rush into any hasty decisions like marriage.

How are you feeling?
Like there's a human being growing inside of me, and I no longer have control of my body.
Like there's a massive water balloon that has taken up residency in my gut.
But otherwise, not bad. My back's starting to hurt, and I get horrendous headaches, and I have horrible... Oh. You were just asking to be polite? You didn't really want a list of my woes? No problem. I feel great! Thanks for asking!

Do you have any cravings?
Fruit and candy. And pickles, but that's nothing new.

Will you be returning to work after wards?
Uh, yeah! Did you not read this post? Although, I'll admit, I have fantasized about being a SAHM (look! I know the lingo already!) for at least the first six months, while embarking on some creative endeavor that would allow me to do so and still bring in some dough. But I'm realistic. I'll have to go back to work.

Can we see pictures?
Um... if you're family and/or close friends you can. I'm not sure how I feel yet about posting prego pics of me on the internet yet.

But what if we promise not to laugh?
Fine. I'll give you one picture:

(The dreaded "pregnancy mask")**

Alright, well that's enough with FAQs. And that's enough from me. I've got big important stuff to do. Or something like that. 

Wait! One more thing. If you're so inclined, pop back and reread my New Year's Resolutions. I promise you you'll see them in a whole new light.

* Swiped from Talking Heads.

** FYI this was at 13 weeks. There's a bump there, but mostly this will serve as a basis for comparison for all the future bump pictures I'll be taking for close friends and family.

Reasons Why...

1. you have a crooked smile.
2. you let me take your car to work in bad weather even though you hate driving mine.
3. you turned Christmas music on for me when I was decorating the tree. and I didn't even ask you too.
4. you tolerate my flightiness.
5. you like to vacuum.
6. in an emergency, you will run to store for me and pick up feminine products. with zero complaints.
7. you have far more patience with me than I probably deserve.
8. you empty and reload the dishwasher without being asked to.
9. you have the balls to make up your own rules.
10. you tell me that you love me almost every single day.
11. you know that I like black licorice.
12. you laugh at me when I complain about my nose fat,
13. and when I dance around the house like a lunatic,
14. and when I sing loudly, horribly off-key and out of tune... in the car... and in the house.
15. it's fun to cook with you,
16. but sometimes you'll make me food without my help.
17. you know when I need a hug.
18. you hold me when I'm crying.
19. you're good at just about everything that you do.
20. you're the most intelligent and capable person I know.
21. you think quantum physics is light bedtime reading.
22. you have many hobbies and interests, which amazes me.
23. you're encouraging and supportive and, for the most part, so very understanding.
24. you're just plain wonderful.
    

... I'm so in love with you.

OBG Returns to Blogging? Eh...

  

The word on the street is, I've been a seriously slacking blogger as of late. And by the street, I mean Twin's blog, Mommy Doesn't Wrestle, where she publicly scolded me for being absent. See?

click to enlarge

I can't even be offended by this, because it's so very true. But you see, my life has been pretty... uneventful as of late. My weekdays consist of getting up at 6:00am, leaving for work at 7:00/8:00am (depending on which school I'm at), getting home at 4:00/5:00/6:00/7:00pm, catching-up on the ever-important internet news (aka Facebook), eating some food, watching some Netflix, and going to bed. Pretty frickin' boring stuff that I'm positive nobody wants to hear about. I'm bored just writing it.

And my weekends aren't any better. There used to be a time when my weekends were filled with all sorts of debauchery, but lately? Not so much. In fact, as I type this, on a Friday night, before 10:00pm, the G-Man is snoring away on the couch, and I'm contemplating heading to bed soon. Of course, this means I have very little material for my blog. As happy and content as I am with my life right now, life is pretty fucking lame.

Actual dining room

The most exciting thing I anticipate my weekend providing is my bravery in trying caviar tonight when the G-Man and I went to the Russia House Restaurant for a rain-checked birthday dinner (I ended up getting miserably sick for my birthday). I had the Russia House Noodles and Caviar, by the way. The G-Man had Morskiye Grebeshki. I don't remember what that was. If you must know, look it up on the menu. 

Actual owners

In case you're wondering, the dining experience was really nice. From the moment you walk through the door, you're waited on by the actual owners, who do everything from take your jacket, pull out your chair, flambe your appetizers table side, take your order, serve your food and bring you your drinks. Basically, they do it all. In fact, the only other staff I saw was the busboy. Granted, the place wasn't what you would call "hopping", but I was impressed nonetheless.

Last weekend wasn't any better. The highlight of that weekend was walking around the Washington Auto Show for six or seven hours. I did get to sit in some pretty nice cars though. Towards the end of the evening, much to his dismay, the G-Man had to literally drag me out of the cars. If you've never sat in an Infiniti before, I highly recommend you do so. One could almost curl up and fall asleep in the comfy front seat of those cars.

At any rate, life is happy. Life is lame. Tune in next week. I'm thinking of painting my toenails on Sunday, and I know you're going to be dying to find out what color. Will it be pink? Will it be silver? Will it be blue or red? Who knows? Things are wild and crazy here! It might even be *gasp* purple.