200 posts later...

... and I'm still alive and kicking. Sort of. Can we all just pretend this isn't my 200th post? Not that I'm any good at celebrating these sorts of things, in blogger world or the real world. If it weren't for Twin, I would never remember anyone's birthday, and forget about anniversaries. You're on your own with those.

And while I'm on the topic of birthdays, one of the cutest little boys in the whole entire world just had his first birthday. Yup, that's right, little Benny Bugger just turned one. Happy Birthday, Benny Bugger. Sorry I couldn't be there for the festivities.

He likes cake.

And check out the sweet cakes my sister made for Benny Bugger. (One was for his real birthday, and the other was for his birthday party with friends and family. My sister is one of those moms who wouldn't let her sons have cake until their first birthday. Don't judge her. I think it's cute.)

The concept was good, but the execution could have been cleaner.

Coolest cake ever.

I'm sure my sis would want you to know that the first cake was designed by big bro', Owen, who's 3. I think he was in charge of the sprinkles. I'm extremely impressed by the second cake, which I heard only took a mere 4 hours to make. And here I thought she lacked cake making talent. Or maybe she just told me that so I would make her cakes for her. Guess who'll be making her own cakes from now on?

In other birthday news, the G-Man had his birthday this past weekend. He decided a night in Alexandria with a bunch of friends was the way to celebrate. So a bunch of us got a few hotel rooms in Alexandria on Friday night, and we all got gloriously wasted. Or maybe that was just me. But check out the sweet room. I love the picture above the bed. Much better than your typical hotel art.

I totally dive-bombed this bed. Multiple times.
And then I had to stop because I hurt myself.

In related news. You know how I'm super coordinated and totally classy? Of course you do. Well, remember how I had that gnarly toe injury not that long ago? Well guess what? I did it again. Yup. I stubbed my toe up pretty good Friday night, and if it weren't for that previous toe injury, which happened in the safety of a bedroom, while I was sober, I would totally blame the alcohol and the uneven sidewalks of Alexandria. But, also seeing as I had tripped on the uneven bricks earlier in the evening, before any alcohol was consumed, well, I don't think I can blame the alcohol. But maybe I can blame the sidewalks. Or maybe not. I am, after all, the kind of person who takes one thing off of a shelf in the closet and then has eight other things come crashing down on my head. Or the kind of person whose ten lb. purse falls on my head while using the restroom in Target (don't ask).

And since I am in a sharing kind of mood, I have a picture to share with you.

WARNING: PLEASE AVERT YOUR EYES IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH AND/OR CAN'T TOLERATE PICTURES THAT SHOW:

a) TOES
b) GENERAL GROSSNESS
c) TOENAILS IN DESPERATE NEED OF A NEW PAINT JOB or
d) ALL OF THE ABOVE

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. SERIOUSLY, LOOK AWAY. DON'T GO ANY FURTHER. I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR LOST LUNCHES.

In all its glory, I present to you, my new toe injury...

 

You can click on it to enlarge it. You know you want to.

You may be thinking to yourself, "Wait, haven't we seen this toe injury before?" Well, no, you haven't, but you have seen this toe injured before. And it is quite similar to the last injury, but it is, in fact, a brand new injury. And because I'm in such a good mood today and don't want to make you work too hard (it is Monday, after all), here's a pic of the last toe injury for comparison.

And because you're not grossed out enough (Wait, is there anyone left reading this?), I must add that the new toe injury had two skin flaps that needed to be removed as well as some gravel, some mashed up toenail, and a fuzzy. And there was blood. Lots of blood.

And my birthday gift to the G-Man? He got to clean my toe up on Friday. And then I let him pick gravel out of it with tweezers. Hey, after last year's present, a lousy flying lesson, in a real plane and everything, I knew I had to step it up this year (hee hee. Get it? Step it up? Well, I thought it was funny). And really, what man wouldn't prefer bloody appendages over a flying lesson?

And for the few of you who made it through this travesty I call my 200th post... thanks. Here's hoping I have enough shit to talk about for another 200 posts.

Whatev'

  

So I recently discovered that I have no friends. As in, I discovered this evening that I have no one in the world to hang out with. Despite the fact that I have lived in this town since last July, I have no one around that I can call up and say, "Hey! Let's go grab a beer!" I guess this is what happens when you spend all of your free time holed up in your room with just your computer and thesis for companionship. 

               

While I wallow in some pretty deep self-pity, you're going to have to suffer through a pointless survey, about me, which I stole from a lust for words, who stole it from rbandj You might be wondering why I'm forcing you to sit through this. Well, it's better than sitting through the garbage that I would write with my Deep Depression cap on, so be thankful. And enjoy. Maybe you can steal it too.

1. The strangest thing I've ever eaten was eel. I'm sure I've eaten a lot of strange things, but that's the one that I can clearly remember. I also remember liking it. I've really taken to the whole sushi thing.
  
2. My best friends are my sister and SMos. My sister lives about 5-6 hours away. SMos live in Brooklyn, otherwise I'd totally call SMos up 'cause she'd drop everything and go out for a beer with me. Remember last time we got together? Good times. (I wouldn't call my sister up, because she doesn't drink, but I know she would love to hang with me and talk shit about people and watch pointless TV. She's good like that.)
  
3. If I could live in a different era it would be the 60s. No! The 70s. No, wait! The 40s. Crap, I don't know. I like aspects of all of them when it comes to fashion and style. If we're talking about society and equality, give me the 70s. (Did you know gas cost ¢11/gallon in 1940? And in 1970 it cost ¢39/gallon? In 30 years the cost only went up ¢28! So really, shouldn't gas only be, like, ¢70/gallon now or something? Think about it. Source)
  
4. If you only knew one thing about me it should be that I'm not what you would expect. Really. Over the years numerous people have been shocked and/or surprised by me and my me-ness (it's a word. I swear. Despite what Firefox thinks. Okay, I just made it up, but NOW it IS a word. 'Cause I just made it up. See?). People are always shocked by my humor, my intelligence, my mischievousness, me cleverness, my dirtiness, etc. Thankfully, this has never been a problem for me, or I guess for others either. Good. 'Cause I like me.
  
5. My favorite book of all time is Bag of Bones by Stephen King. I think. Yeah, I'm pretty sure of that. Right? Yeah. 
  
6. The one beauty product I can not live without is Oil of Olay. Because my face gets super dry. And I can't afford a lot of fancy, schmancy beauty products. Sometimes I splurge on Aveeno products, but it's been awhile since I've done that. And I don't wear makeup. Like, rarely ever. Sometimes I'll do mascara, but that's it. And sometimes lip gloss.
  
7. Blogging is a great way for me to not only keep track of my thoughts but to also keep track of my identity, something that I tend to loose easily. I'm not kidding. Sometimes I just totally forget who I am. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and think, "Oh my god! I'm Jennifer Aniston!" And then I try to do those cool beachy hair waves that she has, and then I remember that I'm sooo not Jennifer Aniston. Occasionally, I go out at night, thinking I'm a rock star, and then I party like a rock star, and then, the next morning, I realize, "I am sooo not a rock star." There was this awful, horrible period in time when I thought I was a housewife. After about three months, I realized, "I am sooo not a housewife." And then I ran away and joined the circus.
  
8. If I could star in a movie with one actor/actress, it would be Christian Slater. Seriously. I ♥ him.
  
9. One of the best feelings in the world is being touched by someone you like.
  
10. My current obsession is watching TNT all morning. Two hours of Supernatural followed by two hours of Las Vegas. Good stuff.
  
11. What's for dinner tonight? Um... I had some cheese and crackers and pepperoni and a strawberry and a piece of pineapple and a prosciutto and cheese stuffed jalapeno pepper and some macaroni salad.
  
12. The last thing I bought was a coffee.
  
13. I am currently listening to two of my housemates gossiping in the hallway. Good stuff.
  
14. If I could have a home, totally paid for, totally furnished, anywhere in the world, it would be in Italy. Why? Why not?
  
15. The one thing I would change about myself is my fear of settling and committing.
  
16. If you could go anywhere in the world in the next hour, where would you go?  Canton. Or Brooklyn. I could use a friend right now.
  
17. The languages I would love to learn are Spanish and sign. And maybe Italian. For when I live there, of course.
  
18. My favorite quote (right now) is “It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for someone you are not.”
  
19. I am most afraid of losing my freedom.
  
20. My favorite color is blue
  
21. My dream job is baker or cake decorator. Not that glamorous, but so much fun!
  
22. The one thing that brings a smile to your face instantaneously is being touched by someone I like.
  
23. The word I use a lot is fuck. It has so many uses.
  
24. When I'm feeling blue I will curl up with a drink and watch bad, cheesy movies
  
25. What inspires me is other people. As in people I admire. As in people I respect. I miss those people.
  
26. My favorite season is spring!!!
  
27. My favorite dessert has to be blackberry pie.
  
28. How many tabs are open on your browser right now? 6
  
29. What was the first thing that crossed your mind this morning when you looked in the mirror? "If I wear my hair like this, I can totally get away with not showering today."
  
30. The best piece of advice I was ever given was "The only thing worse than 8 years is 8 years and 1 day."
  
31. If I had a million dollars to give to one charity, I would give it to The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research. For my grandfather. I miss him.
  
32. If at first you don't succeed lower your expectations. 

Damn! That was kind of painful and took WAY longer than I expected. You can probably tell that I started losing interest at the end there, huh? Hope it's easier to read. Have a great weekend. I think I'm going to try and scrounge up some friends somewhere.

You have but to know an object by its proper name for it to lose its dangerous magic. ~Elias Canetti

(I'm not sure how this quote relates to this post, but it intrigued me and seemed relevant. This is Elias Canetti, by the way. If you're curious, here's some info on him. I didn't actually read it, but you're more than welcome too.)

I was leaving a comment on the Facebook page of a former acquaintance this evening, and I addressed her, not by her real name, Laura, but by a fantastical nickname I used to call her, Laura Bora Baker Bean. I'm not sure where this came from or how it evolved, but it made me think about (and not for the first time) how often I call people by names other than the ones they commonly go by.

For example, my sisters aren't Patty, Krista, Shelley and Brianne. They are Miss Patricia, Krissy Sue, Shelley and Weezie, or when she was under the age of five, Cutie. (You may have noticed that Shelley remains Shelley. I'm not sure why this is).

There could be some sort of psychological or defense mechanism explanation behind this. Like, by giving others nicknames it helps me to maintain distance and removes me from the personal nature of our relationships (hey, that wasn't half bad. I just pulled that out of my you-know-what).

Some nicknames were given to acquaintances by other acquaintances and therefore my use of them doesn't count for this discussion. For example, Hadme (Hadly), Glenjamin (Glen), Randoll (Randi), Joweiner (Jolene) and Ju'tin (Justin).

Sometimes I just refuse to use peoples nicknames and insist on calling them by their given name. For example, Katrina (Kate), Benjamin (Ben), Gregory (Greg), Joshua (Josh), Lucas (Luke), Patrick (Pat), Nicole (Nikki), Melissa (Missy) and Daniel (Dan).

There are other times when I prefer to just change the pronunciation of the name, or the way the syllables are stressed. For example (for the full effect, you have to give a proper amount of pause at the -), Andrea becomes On-drea, Amanda becomes A-mon-da, Allison becomes Al-lee-son, Katie becomes Kay-tee and Brandi becomes Bran-die.

Sometimes I like to add syllables. For example, Shannon becomes Shanannon, Tara becomes Tarara and Sara becomes Sarara.

And then there are the ones that are the result of some bizarre play-off of their given name. For example, Terra T (Terra), Topher (Christopher or Chris), Bessy Bess Bess (Bess), Cessy Lee (Celeste), D (Dustin), Benny Bugger (Benjamin or Ben), Owen B'dowen (Owen), Chadio (Chad), Amarie (Amy), Whitler (Whitney), Leroy (Larry), Charlie Barley (Charles or Charlie), and of course, Laura Bora Baker Bean (Laura).

I'd like to think that there's no harm in my weird nickname assignments (or lack there-of). I hope no one is ever offended by them. I'm still not sure why I do it. Maybe because it's impossible to assign a nickname to my name? Although, I did have a roommate who used to call me Ape-ball and a coworker who called me Avril. Maybe it's my form of payback for all the bad jokes I've had to endure as a result of my name? 

I don't know what the logic behind it is, but what about you? Have you ever given or been given a nickname before? Can you explain why?

UPDATE: Upon further reflection, this could, quite possibly be, a very annoying habit. Some of these "nicknames" are just ridiculously obnoxious. How is it I still have friends. Now that I think about it, none of my current friends have nicknames. Interesting. This could explain a lot...