A Quick Note

     

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My creative bone is at work right now. You can find me today at The Bittersweet Blonde where my weekend happenings inspired me to write, "Gretel wiped bitter tears, and said to Hansel, 'Now all is over with us.'" It's a quick read, so go check it out. I'll see you all back here tomorrow for Random Shit Tuesday.

I can die a happy person.

The other day, one of my longtime dreams came true.

That's right, I visited an Anthropologie store for the first time (and I will be back, oh yes, I will). It felt like I had stepped through my laptop, into the magic of their website. I told the G-Man , as we walked through the doors,  "If I had a lot of money, I would live in their catalog." (oh yes, I made him come too, considered it payback for the gun show trip. Which back fired on me because he actually enjoyed it.)

It felt like I was coming home. Never before have I stepped into a store and felt less stressed and more relaxed. I wanted to melt into the floor and become one with the merchandise. It was surreal. All of my old favorites were there. And they were more colorful, luxurious and gorgeous than I could have ever imagined.

Laelia was there, and she was everything I envisioned she would be. Bold and bright. Comfy and puffy. One of these days she will share my bed with me. Oh yes, she will. We'll spend lazy Sunday mornings together, drink coffee together and share magical, fantasy-filled dreams together. Gone will be my nights of insomnia. Gone will be my nightmares. With Laelia by my side, wrapping me in snuggly sunshine, nothing bad could ever happen.

 Octopus and Seahorse were there, ready to liven up my bland, everyday tap water. More colorful and vibrant in person, they whispered underwater secrets to me and asked me to imagine our lives together, swinging on a hammock in the summer sun while sipping lemonade and reading care-free, guilty pleasure, summertime novels.

Astrid was there in all her red-orange glory. She spoke of afternoon tea and cookies. She invited me to pull out my sketchbook, get comfy and sketch the day away. She showed me a world of cozy throw blankets and glasses of wine enjoyed by the light of the fireplace.

And of course, Zinnia, Entomology and Spinning Globe were there. They had my wheels spinning, imagining reclaimed, refinished furniture and brightly lit living spaces. We spoke of sandpaper and vintage paper drawer liners.

And don't even get me started on the clothing. How 'bout you? Have you ever met your wish list in person before?

Writing this post was a big waste of time. So would be reading it.

   

There's no denying it, my laptop's on its last legs. Which I mean quite literally as 3 out of 4 of those little rubber stumps on the bottom of my laptop have melted off. And I mean that literally too. My laptop gets so hot that the glue holding those babies on melted and the rubber stumps keep falling off. I've thought about glue gunning them back on, but never got around to it.

At any rate, my computer is slower than death right now (what does that even mean? How slow is death?) and so everything I try to do on it takes a hundred times longer. For example, right now I'm waiting for an email to send. 

And for your entertainment, here's a list of things I've done while waiting:

Things I Do While Waiting for Shit to Happen (aka Pages to Load)

1. Searched for a '1' that I could copy and paste into this post so I could have a number 1 on my list, thinking it might confuse you all if I started out with '2'.

2. Wrote this post.

3. Ate breakfast.

4. Sat on the couch and squirted things around the room with a water gun to see what kind of reach it had.

5. Spoke to Manjit, a service rep with my credit card company, so I could activate my new card that should have been activated three months ago when my old one expired (shows you how much I use my credit card, right? Which is a good thing, by the way, because it means I never use it. Of course, the fact that I just activated it indicates that I have a suspicion I might have to use it in the near future.)

6. Looked up Indian names for #5 because I thought using "Punjab", the only Indian name that came to mind, would make me sound racist.

7. Checked to see if, after 20 minutes, my email has sent yet/reset itself/acknowledged that I canceled the action/moved on from the screen it's been on for the past 20 minutes. (It hasn't)

8. Contemplated trashing this post because it seems boring (but not wanting to be a quitter, I'm pushing through).

9. Continued to get pissed off because of the "Unresponsive Scripts" messages that pop up on my computer EVERY 5 MINUTES. (Seriously, does anyone know how to resolve this issue?)

Ten. Made this illustration to demonstrate how frustrated I am (click on the pic for a more detailed view). 

Eleven. Checked my email tab again and realized that it must have froze entirely.

Twelve. Wondered if my sis ever received the email I was trying to send or if I would have to attempt to recreate it.

Thirteen. Cursed out Yahoo.

Fourteen. Cursed out the person who set my computer up to automatically update, thus forcing me to deal with this pop-up every fifteen minutes at the most inconvenient times.

Fourteen and a half. (Because I thought of something else after finishing my list but didn't want to renumber it) Tried to figure out how to stop this pop-up from appearing EVERY FIFTEEN MINUTES, but failed.

Fifteen. Made this illustration to show you how much I hate inconvenient pop-ups. I admit, I could have put some more effort into it and done a better job, but I've got a To Do list to complete today. (click to enlarge)

Sixteen. Finally got around to filling out a change of address form with the Post Office and then wondered what happens with the mail that's already sitting in my PO box back in NY.

Seventeen. Realized I haven't had coffee yet.

Eighteen. Came up with really lame items for this list in the hopes that I would hit 20 so I can stop spelling out the numbers with ones in them.

Nineteen. Sneezed.

20. Gave up on the email and decided to call my sister instead.

Sorry for wasting your time like that. I can't believe I just wasted my time like that. Now off to go do some job searching, which in reality means I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee, use the bathroom and maybe take a shower. And then I'll think about job searching again. After, of course, I scold myself for not going to the gym (again) but then contemplate the internal struggle I have with going to the gym when that time should really be spent job searching. And then I'll probably have lunch. And then I'll probably do some job searching. 

Hope your Friday is more productive than mine. Hope you have a fabulously fun weekend planned. See you all back here on Monday[ex.pt.]

Is there anything else I can get for you?

How long does one continue job searching in their field before throwing in the towel and giving up? I've read numerous articles lately that have been discussing the fact that while many, many people remain unemployed, some employers are having a hard time filling open positions. This was explained by the theory that people are having a difficult time reconciling the significant difference between the job they once had and the jobs that are available. No one wants to go from working at a cushy office job to driving trucks all day.

I've been wrestling with this issue too. As my job searching continues to beat me down, I've begun to consider possible alternatives to teaching. Not long-term, mind you, just temporary so I can pay the bills. I feel as if I've gotten to the point where I might have to fall-back on my old stand-by, waiting tables. When I tell this to the people in my life, I get different reactions from them. (Image Source)

The G-Man, who waited tables a time or two in college, has a BA in psychology and was ushered into a completely unrelated field of work a month after graduating and is now on the cusp of earning six figures, thinks waiting tables is a viable option for me.

SMos, who waited tables for many years in NYC, just completed the same Masters program as me, and has been working as an art teacher for almost six years in a public school in Brooklyn, thinks waiting tables is one option, but agrees that it would suck, but also points out how great the pay could be, but then laments about how shitty it would be to have to wait tables again, and then suggests other options for me and frequently emails and texts me with job possibilities she stumbles across (I love her).

Thing Two, who I have no knowledge of any of his experience waiting tables, has a Bachelors degree and a Masters, has shelled out tens of thousands of dollars to become a lawyer, and is now pushing papers for some government agency in DC, thinks that my talk of being a waitress reflects a defeatist's attitude.

Twin, who waited tables for a while in The Middle of Nowhere, Texas (while pregnant, mind you), has a Bachelors degree and a Masters in teaching, and is now working as a stay-at-home mom to her two beautiful sons because she can't find a job teaching English, thinks... well, now that I think about it, I don't recall what her thoughts on the subject were.

As you can imagine, I'm torn. I don't want to settle for a job, and I understand that many big wigs in the know cite this exact attitude as the reason so many people remain unemployed. I have explored options outside of teaching that don't include waiting tables, but have thus far come up with a big fat goose egg. I know that, in theory, I can continue job searching while waiting tables, but if you've ever waited tables full-time before, you know that the level of exhaustion I would experience, both mental and physical, would drain me of all my energy and leave very little left for job hunting. (Image Source)

While bouncing back and forth with this, I've compiled two lists outlining the pros and cons of me returning to waiting tables.

Why I Wouldn't Mind Waiting Tables Again

1. The pay can be good.
2. It's immediate money.
3. I like interacting with people.
4. It was one of my dream jobs when I was seven.
5. I like being super busy.
6. It's good for the thighs. And the butt.
7. It would get me out of the house.
8. I'm good at it.

Why I Would Hate Waiting Tables Again

1. It's exhausting.
2. People can be rude and demanding.
3. You're often not treated like a real person.
4. Customers judge you.
5. The hours suck. And you have to work evenings and weekends. Or else they fire you.
6. I hate not having a set schedule.
7. I have a Masters degree.
8. I'm concerned I wouldn't even get hired, and I'm not sure I can stand any more rejection.
9. I have severe pain in my left foot that I've been ignoring for about two or three years now ever since I fell down the stairs that one time but refused to go to the hospital because I didn't have health insurance.
10. I'm klutzy.
11. I don't like being bossed around.
12. I'd have to wear Happy Face all the time.
13. I'd smell like food all the time.
14. The smell of food would start making me gag.
15. My face would break out from all the grease.

Of course, I could always fall back on my other fall-back, substituting. The pay wouldn't be immediate and I wouldn't be guaranteed work, but at least it would always be M-F daytime work. And it would allow me to get my foot in the door of area schools. And even though subbing sucks on a level so unimaginable those of you who have never done it couldn't even begin to imagine, it would keep my teaching skills all shiny and pretty. 

Of course, then there's the bills this month. *Sigh* Anyone want to pay my car payment for me?

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RST: Passive aggressive, the G-Man finds a job, an email, serial killers, breaking up, and new projects.

    

It's Tuesday, which means, time again for another Random Shit Tuesday! 

My randomness (which I'll keep short and sweet since I've got shit to do today*)...


When someone leaves a note on the dishwasher that says, "Dishes are clean." does this mean they want you to unload the dishwasher or is this a case of Captain Obvious stating, well, the obvious? When passive aggressive notes are left like this, I'm inclined to allow my inner twelve year old to react by not unloading the dishwasher. Had the note not been left, I would have happily unloaded the dishwasher when I noticed that the dishes in it were clean.

Notes like this don't work on me. Maybe Upstairs Mike should have called my mom first, and she could have clued him in. My mom is the queen of passive aggressiveness. She used to leave notes for my sisters and I every morning before heading to work that usually started out something like this, "If you get bored today" or "If you're looking for something to do". She would then list stuff like this, "the dishwasher needs to emptied" or "the towels in the washer need to be hung out." And when we tried explaining to her that these things didn't get done because we had plenty to do that day and didn't get bored, well, she wasn't very pleased. (Ironically, if she hadn't left the notes, my sisters and I probably would have done those things on our own when we noticed they needed to be done.)

Seriously though, if you want me to do something that I normally wouldn't do on my own, just ask. Otherwise, just assume that I'm an adult who is capable of unloading the dishwasher on my own. (I've been doing this chore since I moved in. Does Upstairs Mike think the dishwasher fairies have been doing it?) And a "please" couldn't hurt either.

***

Speaking of sarcastic passive aggressiveness... For those of you who have been as on-the-edge-of-your-seats as I have, you'll be happy, and relieved, to hear that the G-Man has finally gotten a new job, the poor bastard. Weeks of job searching and interviews have finally paid off for him. He starts his fancy new job in two weeks at a company where he will get to work with [important government agency] agents and probably have access to all sorts of hush-hush intel. Good for him. He also gets fabulous benefits including, but not limited to, fully paid health insurance, four weeks paid time off and training/education courses paid for. Oh, and his pay increase? Twice what I brought home last year (and if you've been paying attention at all, you would know that that wasn't a heck of a lot, but that's not the point). Yeah, if you didn't hate him before...**

***

Remember that job interview I had with a school system that didn't have any job openings? I told you about that, right? Yes, I just checked, I did, but you were probably too distracted by the wasp-in-butt story and forgot. Anyway, I was contacted by a principal at one of the elementary schools to see if I would be interested in coming in for an interview. Yeah, I know! I was excited too... at first. Then I read further and discovered that the job would have me working one day a week, and then when I looked into where the school was in relation to where I'll probably be moving to in a month or so, I realized that it would require an almost hour long commute, if not longer. Maybe if it were a full-time position with benefits... but it's not. Therefore, I politely declined. *Sigh*

***

Since I've moved here (I've been here for a little over a month now) I've heard about two serial killers in the area. Kind of makes my paranoia over the mystery footprints in the driveway seem not so over-the-top now. I didn't have to worry about serial killers in New York (that I know of). Just saying.

***

I think I'm about to go through a breakup. Yup. That's right. I think it's just about time to break up with my laptop. While I love it for getting me through the grad school crunch, I can't help but kind of hate it right now. It's falling apart. The charger doesn't charge the battery. Keys are missing. It gives me third degree burns whenever I use it for longer than five minutes at a time. I have to set up an extra fan to keep it from overheating. And it's slow. We're talking dial-up slow. Sometimes I will select a program to open, walkaway, go eat breakfast, shower and brush my teeth and then return to find the program in the last steps of loading.
This is highly aggravating for me as I rely on my laptop to get me through the day. Plus, I have a ton of super awesome ideas to blog about but because of the snail-pace of my computer, I'm unable to (mainly because I lack the patience necessary to wait the twenty minutes it takes for shit to load). If only I had a newer, faster, better laptop...

***

I'm currently working on a few projects that I'm super excited about. 

• I'm sprucing up my teacher blog, Art Teachers Hate Glitter, which involves a new name and a new look (I'm slowly getting there). 
• I'm also working on The Sketchbook Project. Or at least I'm thinking about working on it. There are ideas brewing. It still counts! 
• I don't want to get you too excited about the third project, lest you become unbearably jealous of me, but it may or may not rhyme with "Rob perching."

Okay, so calling them "projects" is a bit of a stretch, but it sounds more fun and mysterious, doesn't it?

***

That wasn't nearly as short and sweet as I had anticipated. Now I'm off to do real work. 

* Yeah, I couldn't help but laugh at that too.
** My intention isn't to get you to hate the G-Man. I am very excited for him and his new job, but that doesn't mean I can't still be aggravated and frustrated by his success when I'm having such a hard time.

Excuse me, but you seem to have herpes in your hair.

     

Please forgive my absence. I am currently working on vamping up my *ahem* professional blog, Art Teachers Hate Glitter. Which, by the way, is a true blue fact. One of my art teacher friends described glitter as "the herpes of the art room." Don't believe me? Go buy some. Use it once. And then watch it spread all over your house. It's contagious, man. 

Anymess, if you're so inclined, feel free to mosey on over there. Sometime in the near future I'll probably link it to this here bloggy blog. We'll see. Never know how those things are gonna go though.

Be back shortly (because I just can't seem to stay away).

Alan Cumming. You probably don't know that you know him, but you do.

My posts about celebrities have been pretty few and far between. I've lamented over the career of Christian Slater, confided in you about my infatuation with David Bowie, and admitted my fascination with all that is Helena Bonham Carter. Today I'm going to share with you my latest celebrity obsession, Alan Cumming.

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You're probably thinking this Scot looks familiar, but no, he's not the guy who played PeeWee Herman, but I imagine if PeeWee and Joey (I think the grey-haired LeBlanc has infested my brain) were to ever have a love child, Alan Cumming would be it.

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I first took note of Alan in X2. He played Nightcrawler (like you didn't already know that), one of the most vulnerable and touching X-Men characters to appear in the X-Men trilogy (in my opinion). He's also had quite a number of one-time appearances on some pretty popular TV sitcoms like 3rd Rock from the Sun (love!), Frasier, and Robot Chicken (as well as some other shows that I've never watched before).

Alan lent his voice to God, the Devil and Bob as The Devil and will even be voicing Gutsy Smurf in the upcoming movie, The Smurfs (and I've already expressed to you how I feel about that). Another TV role that really caught my attention was Alan's portrayal as Glitch in the Tin Man (what do you mean you haven't seen it? Quick! Go put it on the top of your Netflix Instant Queue!), which I believe aired on the Sci-Fi Channel (before it "reworked" its imagine and became the more female-friendly Sy-Fy Channel. And before you jump on that "female-friendly" remark, they aired the movie Enchanted for crying out loud. Why? Why would they do something like that? The channel that brought us such greats as Dinoshark, Mega Piranha, and Ice Spiders chose to air a princess musical? But I digress, as is oft to happen here).

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Keeps your eyes open, and I'm sure you'll spot the unique look of Alan Cumming in other movies and TV series. I'm also pretty sure you can expect to see a great deal of him in the future. In fact, he'll be in the upcoming movie Burlesque with Cher and Christina Aquilera (although after reading about that film, I have very low expectations for it). And if you're interested in learning more about Alan Cumming, you can peruse his website or read his blog.

Do you have a favorite "odd-ball" actor or actress?

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Hope you all have a fabulous weekend. I have nothing planned, but of course, as history has shown us, that doesn't mean I won't have some wild tales to share with you on Monday.