shhh... it's a secret

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

RST: Movies, Xbox, and trespassers,

It's Tuesday, which means, time again for another Random Shit Tuesday

My randomness...

The Blogger commenting snafu appears to be resolved.


I love tomatoes. Love 'em! Just thought that needed to be said.


The National Harbor features Movies on the Potomac every Sunday night. This month's theme is 80's Classics. The line-up? Ghost Busters, The Goonies, Back to the Future, and Gremlins. Do I need to say more?


I've been playing a lot of Xbox recently. More specifically, I've been playing a lot of Left 4 Dead 2. For those of you who are unaware, this is a zombie killing game. Let's forget for a moment that video games make me very violent and cause me to curse... a lot, they also have another affect on me. 

In any given location, I now find myself scoping out the exits, the dark corners and the prime zombie killing spots. I look for weapons and possible barriers. I evaluate the people around me for both mental and physical weaknesses, thus determining who will become a teammate, and who will become bait. You know, for when the zombies strike. 

 Hold on tight. These fuckers like to ride you. And ride hard they do.

I hear a kid squeal and I whip my head around and say, "Holy shit. That sounds like a Jockey. Where is it?" I hear a woman sobbing and I freeze and whisper, "Whoa. Shhh. It's a witch. Don't disturb her. Those things are vicious."

I should probably put the controller down for a while.


I'm currently living in a hugemongo 3-story house. We're talking a house so big all of my previous residences could fit inside it (not all at once, of course). We're talking 3,500+ sq. ft. Huge, folks, huge. I'm not bragging about this, trust me. I never, ever wanted to live in a house like this, in such a severely impersonal housing development. It sucks. It also happens to be "temporary" so for the moment, I make do. 

 This is the kind of house that horror movies are set in. A serial killer's wet dream.

Last night (we're talking after midnight here, so I guess, technically, it was really early this morning), I was watching TV in the living room and writing my latest Previously on OBG post while watching cheesy, late night movies and TV (read: Hook and That 70's Show). At some point, I heard a noise coming from the kitchen that sounded kind of, sort of like a bump, or a knock (please note, there was only one other person and a dog in the house at the time, and both were tucked away, upstairs, fast asleep). As nighttime TV viewing can often be freak-out, paranoia time, I chalked the noise up to my wild imagination and returned my attention back to my laptop.

Then I heard a noise that sounded like a door closing. Or opening. At this point I became slightly concerned about whether or not we locked the back door after grilling that evening. I muted the TV, sat really, really still, and, hearing no other noises, I once again chalked it up to my imagination and the surround sound speakers in the living room. After a couple more mystery noises from the kitchen (which is in plain sight from the living room as are both the front and back doors), I heard nothing more. I eventually shut things down, double-checked the door locks and went upstairs to bed.

When I went downstairs this morning, Gregarious insisted on showing me something outside. We went outside, and there, plain as day, were muddy shoe tracks across the driveway. It appeared that they came from the back of the house, went up to the garage, and then across the driveway to the side of the house.

Needless to say, I WAS FREAKED THE FUCK OUT!

At this point I filled Gregarious in on my experience the previous evening. Before Gregarious left for work, I made sure I had a fresh battery in my taser, and he showed me where his shotgun lives and brought his machete out from the closet (I can only assume in the event that zombies show up as Gregarious is well aware of my melee zombie-killing skills). 

 Coach's zombie-slaughtering weapon of choice is, of course, the baseball bat.

And now I'm holed up in my room, armed and dangerous. I'll be here all day folks. At least until someone comes home. Then I might wander down to the kitchen for some food.


Salt said...

LFD2 is one of my most favorite video games is a VEEEERRRRRRRY long time. I love me some good zombie killin'. :) said...

Holy shit balls! That's terrifying!!! I'm so sorry! Ugh, the worst. I hope you have some home grown tomatoes to comfort you. :)

Krista said...

Holy crap! Get your butt to my house NOW! I only have ghosts; those can't murder you in your sleep. (Bet you aren't so freaked out about my ghost now, are you?).

But seriously. That's scary. It MUST be a sign that you shouldn't be there.

Erin said...

That is frightening! Call the cops if it happens again...

One Blonde Girl said...

@ Salt- Yeah, I know. I can't stop playing it. I want to play it ALL THE TIME!

@ hiphophippie- Holy shit balls is right. And those tomatoes are going uneaten because, well, they're in the kitchen. I'm terrified I'm going to round the corner into the kitchen and see a face staring in at me from the back door. And then I'd probably shit my pants.

@ Krista- I don't know... I saw an episode of Supernatural today where ghosts could kill you. Although, that might be better 'cuz you wouldn't see them coming.

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Holy the call is coming from inside the house Hell! I would have been pissing myself and someone would have stayed home from work with me.

If they enter the house, zombies or not.... CUT THEIR HEADS OFF.. aint no mo fo gonna survive that.

BTW... blogger is still blowing on the comments thing.

One Blonde Girl said...

@ Erin- Damn straight! Now if only I could remember to keep my cell charged...

@ MMH- Yeah, I've got the dog, but she's old, and I'm pretty sure she's only good for drinking out of toilets and eating Kleenex from the bathroom trash. Poor thing. Oh, and heads will roll, yes siree-bob, heads will roll.

(yeah, I notice Blogger is still being glitchy. What gives?)

Steve G. said...

Have you gotten into Dead Rising at all? I only have a Wii, but I liked playing it, since you can use whatever you find laying around as a weapon against the zombies. I mean, guns are more effective, but there is something more satisfying about being able to use park benches, soccer balls and chainsaws against zombies.

ashley said...

that house reminds me of where i grew up. for all i know it could be the actual house that i lived in- every house on that street looked almost identical.
and i knew they were doing 80's movies but GREMLINS!? don't know how i missed that but i'm DOWN!

One Blonde Girl said...

@ Steve G- Ah, yes. Dead Rising. I do recall playing that one. And now I'm going to stop talking before I reveal too much of my inner video geekiness.

One Blonde Girl said...

@ Ashley- I'm... sorry? Seriously, I didn't grow up in neighborhoods like this. In fact, nothing like this even existed where I grew up. I can't even imagine growing up in this "neighborhood". What the hell do the kids do in these places? And Gremlins? Uh... yeah!

Tanya said...

AHH! THAT IS SO NOT OKAY! I am so freaked out FOR you. Please stay with people at all times. ...I would never walk anywhere alone!

Anonymous said...

Next time arm yourself with a tomato. They leave a nice bruise and sting the eyes. Don't stop your zombie killing practice, though. Those skills are bankable.

McGriddle Pants said...

don't ever watch amity ville horror in that house!

you'll not sleep for weeks!!

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