shhh... it's a secret

Monday, July 12, 2010

In other news... Life's got me down. Wait. That's not news.

I had the best intentions for today today. I was going to get up early, have a cup of coffee, go to the gym, maybe do some window shopping...

And the day started out alright. I was up at 9:00am (okay, maybe more like 9:30), and I was all motivated to start my day. I made a cup of coffee, toasted an English muffin, and then I sat down to enjoy my breakfast. I wisely decided that while I was consuming said breakfast it would be a great opportunity to do some apartment searching. And maybe some job searching. 

And then fast forward two hours and I found myself still job searching and apartment searching and nowhere closer to getting out of the house and to the gym. And I realize that I'm still wearing the same skirt I've been wearing every day for a week (did I sleep in it last night?). I'm unshowered. There's laundry to do (as evident by the two-sizes too big, borderline granny-panties I'm wearing). And I have absolutely no desire nor motivation to leave the house today. Again. What's the point? I have nowhere to go.

I've become aggravated by all the searching taking place in my life right now. Job searching, apartment searching (soul-searching). I mean, which should come first? The new place to live or the new job? On one hand, I'm dead broke and could really use some income. Pronto. On the other hand, I don't really want to get a waitressing job in Alexandria only to find myself moving to Arlington. Or what if I get a job in Arlington or Falls Church or DC and end up in Fairfax or Vienna? 

However, I still have the $300 car payment ever month and the $90 car insurance payment. And why am I paying $90 a month for car insurance anyways? I've never been in an accident, I don't have any tickets... Now that I think about it, my insurance company probably still thinks I live where I lived three years ago when I bought the car. And they probably still think I'm driving 40 miles to work every day. They probably don't know that I'm unemployed and that I hardly drive at all anymore. I should probably look into that... If only I could remember who my carrier is...

Thank god I had my undergrad student loans deferred (again) until November. You know, 'cause I'm unemployed. Lord knows how much extra interest I've racked up over the years. I have no idea what the status of my grad school loans are. I can't even remember who my lender is anymore since that seems to change every month. And I have no idea what address that correspondence goes to.

I have unanswered emails from weeks ago. I have unanswered text messages and unchecked voice mails. "What's the point?" I wonder. I have no news to share with anyone. I'm no more closer to accomplishing anything than I was two months ago. The only difference in my life is my zip code, and that's not really news nor is it unexpected. "Oh, you moved? Again?" Yeah, pretty much.

This morning I received an email from my dad (I can't remember the last time I spoke to him. Or saw him) informing me that he's in the last steps of selling his house. The house I grew up in. The house he built. My eyes stung a bit when I first read that, but then I thought, "Eh. I haven't lived in that house for 15 years." Plus, it's not like I had any intention of stepping foot in it again anyways. Whatever. I guess if his fiance is happy he's selling the house he lived in with his first two wives and their children, then by all means, make the bitch woman happy. I should probably give Twin a call though and see how she's taking the news. Maybe later.

So what now? I have resumes to be rewritten, cover letters I need to write, references I need to dig up... A comfortable bed and satellite TV I need to resist. *Sigh* This is my life. If you could call it that.

On a positive note, I recovered from PMS just in time to have a really good weekend. If I can find the motivation, maybe I'll tell you all about it later. I have a very funny story that involves long, gnarly hair and an unidentified creepy crawly. We'll see how the day goes.


McGriddle Pants said...

Its like we're living the same life right now. Lets meet up for coffee... somewhere in the middle... say... Kansas? HA!

Dude, I've deferred my loans for almost 3 years now. Even when I had a job I couldn't afford those bitches. Fucking $380 a month! I mean... REALLY!?!? *sigh* I've accumulated almost $5K in that time. Its crazy.

And from formerly working at an insurance company, SERIOUSLY call them. You probably could save a bunch. I moved 20 miles and my insurance DROPPED $20 a month. I was like... really?!? DO it. Do it.

And don't you HATE job searching? I feel like I picked the wrong major constantly. And I majored in BUSINESS! The most generic major of all! BAH! I hate that I have to edit and rewrite my resume for every job I apply for. I have such random work history, I can't put it ALL on there cause it'd be like 4 pages long. Ugghhh. Which reminds me I need to get on that search again. New grocery store opening up in a few months. Better get my totally unqualified application in!!

Oh, and one last thing. You should read the "GEOGRAPHY OF BLISS"
Its a great read for someone feeling down about life. Its entertaining, uplifting and just all around a great read. Maybe I should read it again too... Hmmm...

Have a great day, and chin up buttercup! :)

**and what is MACTING? Man-acting? that's my captcha** said...

These kind of funks are the worst!!! I so went through this last August thru December. It's such a fecking buzzkill. I would wear the same outfit for 5 days, cuz why not? Who cares. And looking for a job is one of the worst things ever. You need a stoneo!! :)

James Deagle said...

"I used to want to change the world. Now I just want to leave the room with a little dignity." -Lotus Weinstock.

The older I get, the more sense this joke makes. (It becomes less of a joke, but no less funny.) Your post made me think of this line, which means I can totally relate.

One Blonde Girl said...

@ McGriddle- Kansas, huh? Only if there's a wizard there and ruby slippers and Muchkins. I really want a Munchkin. Thanks for the reading suggestion.

@HHH- I DO need a stoneo!

@JD- Love it! Thanks for stopping by!

kimberly montoya said...

I get in similar funks from time to time; this is what I do, maybe it will help.

-drink a cold beer in a hot shower
-put on your best cute/comfy outfit
-blow dry your hair (it makes all the difference)
-do minimal make up
-pick up some of your mess around the house
-go for a walk
-continue drinking beer


-just get a puppy. :)

One Blonde Girl said...

@ kimberly- One word for you- GENIUS. Clearly you are one.

Steve G. said...

Ugh, I get into funks like this too! My best advice is to just fight through it. Even though I feel depressed and in a funk, I'll force myself to write or read a book or play Wii or hoops - anything to get a bit active and out of bed.

Sara Louise said...

I wake up with the best intentions a lot too and end up spending far too much time researching something on the internet. I think I may leave the computer off until at least two hours after I wake up and I bet I get loads done.

Best of luck with the job and apartment hunting :-)

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