Screw the couch cushions, check under the dryer!

  

... because apparently this is where money goes to reproduce. Let me explain.

I skipped work today so I could stay home and do laundry. True story. Before you judge, understand that my job isn't a real job, I only work 20 hours a week, I make up my own hours, and when I go into work, there's never anything for me to do anyway. Really, truly, there's not. Plus, it was either do laundry today or go into work looking like this:

(I call this look post-90s college-grunge. This is something I would have worn to the studio in college back in the day. I dig this get-up out only for really special occasions. And laundry day.)

Yeah, good decision, right? (For those of you interested, I AM available for fashion consultation, but only on Tuesdays and Fridays, but not this Friday because I skipped work today and will have to make up the hours on Friday). Anyway....

Laundry day. I haul my laundry down to the basement with my $10 roll of quarters. It costs $3 to do one complete load of laundry, therefore I'm counting on being able to do 3 out of the 5 loads worth of dirty laundry I have strewn across my bedroom floor. 

So I load up the washer, put my bottle of detergent and roll of quarters on top of the empty DRYER and head back upstairs to work on transcribing some interviews I'm behind on. (I know, if you only had my life, right? Be jealous.) Twenty minutes later, time to switch the laundry. Back downstairs, when, what to my wondering eyes should appear? Yeah, an empty quarter roll and my detergent on the floor. 

If you've been paying attention, you should know that 1. I've only done half a load of laundry, costing $1.50 which means I should have $8.50 left in my quarter roll and 2. I put my quarters and detergent on top of an empty dryer, not the washer. Therefore, you're probably wondering the same thing I was wondering at this point, what happened to all my quarters and how did my detergent get on the floor? These questions shall forever remain unanswered. Well, except that I did find my quarters. They were UNDER the dryer. Not kidding. WTF?

After pulling out the washer and dryer, digging out the dirty and grimy quarters and wiping them off on the throw rug, I count them up to make sure I have my entire $8.50 (quarter rolls are hard to come by in this town. Maybe someday I'll tell you the story of that adventure). Well, what to my wondering eyes should appear this time? $10.50 worth of quarters. Whoa! Jackpot! I cannot , however, explain any of this.

I may never find out how my quarters ended up under the dryer (did I mention the empty quarter roll was still on top of the dryer? Yeah, it was. Creepy stuff), but I do know that 1. I can now do all 5 loads of laundry, 2. money is alive and multiplies under basement dryers and 3. I'm headed back downstairs to stuff some $10 bills under the dryer as soon as I'm done with this post.

UPDATE: If you're any good at quick math, you probably noticed that even with the additinal $2 of quarters, I still don't have enough to do 5 loads of laundry. Yeah, I'm not good at quick math. Somehow, in all the excitement, 5 x $3 = $12. I am stupid.