shhh... it's a secret

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I may be blonde, but you're a wannabe, which is so much worse.

Okay, I know I already posted today but I'm going to remove it and save it for another day. Sorry, but I have to take a moment to vent because this has never happened to me before, and I could really use some moral support right now.


This wouldn't hurt so bad if it weren't for the fact that she told me that I am, "so blonde." This hurts. It really does. Obviously she doesn't know that I am an extremely intelligent person who graduated at the top of my class in grad school, and who spent many years in high school loathing the fact that I'm blonde because people were relentless with the dumb blond jokes and crushed my self-esteem making me believe that I was stupid just because of the color of my hair. *sob*

Here's her comment, because I have to share, and because I believe in full disclosure (most of the time) I'm including my comment too because, well, I don't quite understand. But that's probably the blond in me speaking:

"Like, I don't get it."

Now please excuse me for a moment, I'm typing angry  and that means a lot of typos, so you can only imagine the amount of whiteout I have all over my screen that I now need to figure out how to remove.

After spending a few seconds reading this person's blog, I have come to the conclusion that I just joined the ranks of The Writing Womb and got attacked by someone who is overly sensitive. I am no longer offended, because obviously she has no sense of humor and her blog is kind of lame.

And now I have to go convince myself that I am a good person and that I'm not anti-gay and that I'm a better person than her and I will not stoop to her level and sling mud at her on a blog that belongs to someone else. I will not. I will not. I will not. 

Maybe I should cancel my plans to get together with my good friend, Pooh, before I leave town, because, well, he's gay. Or maybe I should cancel my plans to visit a family member later in the year because, well, she's bi-sexual. Or maybe I shouldn't keep in touch with one of my favorite grad school professors because, well, she's a lesbian.

Maybe I should hang a sign around my neck that says, "Caution, I use the word gay in slang ways sometimes because I'm only human." Then again, Pooh uses it too, but I guess it's okay for him because, well, he's gay.

Okay. I'm over it now. Kind of. Sort of. I will be. Let me sleep on it. Ugh! Stupid people. Shit. Now I just insulted stupid people. I hate myself.

(For the record, I am well aware of the fact that I have some, well, how should I put this? Blonde qualities. I've accepted this, and I'm able to make fun of myself about them as well. Which, in my opinion, makes me a great person. Okay, now I really am over it.)


Shana Karn said...

Hold it together, One Blonde Girl... It's not your use of the word "gay" that I would call into question as potentially stereotypical; it is Wannabe Virginia's naive interpretation of your usage of the word, which is more troublesome. Given her adolescent statement about "blonde," it seems that SHE is the one with the issue...

Laura said...

ohhh what a wierdo! Your blog is great, and I love your new haircut btw...

Krista said...

Okay, honestly, when I read your comment first and came to the "gay" part, I was thinking, "Uh-oh. She's going to hear something nasty about that one!" But then I read her comment and totally did not understand the connection behind her insult. How is (possibly) being offensive a "blonde" stereotype? Of all the stereotypes out there for blondes, never once have I heard, "Blondes are known to insensitively stereotype people".

Unfortunately, being "attacked" or "bashed" is the risk you run when posting on public blogs. If I were you, I'd be thankful someone hasn't done it already! Not b/c of you personally, but b/c that's how other people are sometimes. Nothing better to do than to pick on other people's comments.

I would not take it personally and just brush it off as someone who is bitter and oversensitive and likes to pick on other people b/c they have nothing better to do. But then again, I'm also blonde, so maybe that's a stereotype too?

And for the record, I don't think she was saying that you're anti-gay, just that you were stereotyping. I wonder how she would react if someone were to use the word with it's original meaning? As in, "That is such a gay bouquet of flowers!" :-)

Krista said...

P.S. How do I find her blog? (I'd also be interested in reading the one you commented on. Can you link them somehow?)

One Blonde Girl said...

@ Shana Karn- I agree. I certainly didn't think my use was a stereotype. I just see it as inappropriate slang. You know, like when people say, "That's so dope." Does that mean dope is cool? (probably not the best example I could come up with)

@ Laura- Thank you and thank you!

@ Krista- I'll email you a link to the original post and you can find your way to her blog through it. But only because I like you and because I think, as an English teacher, you'll get a good laugh at her... um... writing skills.

Salt said...

You know you've made it big in blogland when someone gives you a bashing. :) Some people don't have anything better to do. I'd just feel sad for the girl that said that to you and move on. She's not worth it and those shoes in her avatar are ugly.

cbs111 said...

don't let it get to you. people are overly sensitive and need to spew their anger, brush it off and forget about it.

Stacie's Madness said...

oh for the love of pete..
yeah, I'd just move on it's so not worth your sanity or even explaination to others.

I'm new here, so far, I like your blondeness, it's not gay in anyway.

McGriddle Pants said...

that shit is so retarded. RETARDED! I hate how anonimity of the blogiverse lets people think they can say stuff without thought to the person on the other end. You'd never say something like that in person!

What. Ever.

And honestly, I never even read what other people post! So how boring of her to read through them all, and RESPONDED to something you said! what the shit.

One Blonde Girl said...

@ Salt- So I've heard, I just expected to go down a little differently. I do kind of feel sad for her, and I've definitely moved on (with the help of all you wonderful people)

@ cbs111- Thanks. BTW, the '1' button on my keyboard in busted, so it takes like 8 tries to type one '1', so I might just call you "cbs" from now on.

@ Stacie's- Thanks and double thanks for stopping by. Glad you like it here.

@ McGriddle- You rock. That is all.

Didactic Pirate said...

Hey, OBG,
Just sent you a message via StudioThirty. In a nutshell, it says 1) No worries, 2) You're nice, and 3) I like you. Only way wordier.

Ally said...

Awww, I hate this post. Why? Because I'd be upset too. Why can't people just get along and keep their bitchin' to themselves or else if they have a problem, maybe email you in private instead of trying to "out" you no pun intended.

Here's something I came up with years ago, totally stupid and I hope nobody bashes me in your comment section for saying this...

As not to offend any gay folk, "ghey" is how I spell the non-homosexual sense of the word like, "dude, that t-shirt is so ghey" ...

Amber said...

Ugh. That really sucks. I'll never understand why people feel the need to make those sorts of jibes But I think you're cool, and really, isn't that all that matters?

Anyway, I got your back, yo.

Writing Womb said...

lol i love that you were the better person for putting that her blog was kind of lame in tiny little letters...that was a classic move! that suxs that it affected you that much, it happens when we are down on ourselves, we take too much to heart. glad you could pull yourself out of it by making your own funny blonde jokes and venting your frustrations out on your blog...i too have realized how other's comments can affect me and i wonder what the point is in caring about what a stranger thinks about my point of view..seems silly yet i still to get over that one?
i think your great and i used to be a blonde for more than 10 years (bottle blonde) i never tired of hearing all the jokes cause it's a fun way to deceive can pretend to be stupid and they wouldn't be surprised and you can get away with murder or you can be your smart self and blow their minds with your awesome brains...i loved being a blonde and think about going back to it frequently cause blondes really do have it all going on! ok, bye bye

One Blonde Girl said...

@ Didactic P- Thanks!

@ Ally- Thanks for the tip!

@ Amber- You're right, that is all that matters. Thanks.

@ Writing W- Yeah, I rock. I think any kind of personal attack hurts initially, regardless of where it comes from. I think the trick is to just be really confident with who you are. I'm still working on that. Oh, and I've got that whole deception thing down pat!

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