So, here I am, packing up my shit. Actually, right now I'm watching Ghost Whisperer because for some strange reason I have recently become addicted to this show. I gotta admit, I really like a lot of JLH's clothes on the show, but I also really like watching her ass grow and shrink between seasons. And of course, how the wardrobe people try to hide her growing lower half. But I digress.
Any way, just for fun, I thought I would give you a peek into the bizarre world of me. I think you can learn so much about a person by snooping through their stuff (or their car). So, for your entertainment, I'm providing you with a peek into my life via my personal shit (but just the random shit that I came across that struck me as... well... odd).
- Bubbles! Of course, upon finding these bubbles, I became horribly sidetracked and had to go outside on this gloriously rainy day and, of course, blow bubbles. I took pics too, because the bubbles were glorious. Seriously, I've never seen bubbles that were lovelier. Apparently the Germans really know how to make bubbles.
Pretty, right? And yes, I do live on a highway. And no, there isn't any sort of fence to keep us safe from the highway crazies. But it's okay, my landlord planted a protective tree barrier. See? Oh, and I'm out in like 15 days, so, whatev'.
- Care Bear stickers. Yeah, I can't remember why I have these.
- Stewie refrigerator magnets. Again, not sure why I have these or where they came from, but they're cool, and some day I'll a refrigerator to put them on. Oh! And totally unrelated, but kind of related, I have a Stewie Christmas tree ornament too. Not sure when I'll ever get a chance to hang that up again...
- Superman stickers. Again... see above. Really, what's with me and stickers? I mean, I love stickers, but... talk about random.
- A note from a student's parent from 2004. And because it's awesome and I want the world to know that I'm awesome, here it is, exactly as written...
Miss (my last name),
I just wanted to take a few minutes to say thank you! I will be 100% honest with you, and tell you that when the whole mess started with Mrs. CrazyPerson* I was not willing to give you a chance. What I focused on instead, was that fact that I already knew Mrs. C., and my children liked her. I have sat back and watched your interaction w/the students, and observed the way that they respond to you. Frankly they love you, enjoy your class, learn from you, and are learning to love art through you. As a parent of 3 in this school I am very happy that you are here for them. Good things take time, and I think that with more time all of the parents will realize what I have, and will supoort you also. Hang in there! We need more teachers in this school like you.
Sincerely, Mrs. Change of HeartAwe... how nice. Yeah, I know this mother was blowing smoke up my ass, but whatev', I needed this. This just happened to be from the year of teaching that I am forever scarred by. Maybe someday I will tell you all about it, but for all you teachers out there, imagine the worst possible situation you could possibly be in as a teacher, and that was my first year. Seriously. Oh, and this is totally going in my portfolio.
- A rock. Uh-huh...
- A Donald Duck lunchbox. Which apparently is where I keep my empty money rolls. Go figure. Too bad it's not a Scrooge McDuck lunchbox. Maybe if I put the rolls under the dryer, they'll magically fill up with money...
- 2 packages of vacuum belts. I guess I was afraid of running out.
- This pic from my senior play. Can you guess which one is me?
- A key chain whip. Yeah, my house keys are now hanging from it, thank you very much.
- 2 unlabeled VHS tapes. I can't even imagine what is on these.
- A Bacardi light-up bat pin. It no longer lights up. I tossed it. I think I acquired this about four years or so ago when I was working at an Irish pub and restaurant.
- A vibrator. Yes, that kind of vibrator. Damn! I forgot I had this.
910 lighters. Which probably explains why the people I used to live with could never find their lighters. Apparently as well as a pickle thief, I'm also a lighter thief.
- A stun gun. I mean, I don't have one of these, because having one of these in NY State is illegal, however, having one in VA State is not illegal. If I were to have one, I'm sure it wouldn't have it's batteries in it or anything. Moving on...
- My nerdy academic pins from high school. I guess I've always been a nerd. Or, I guess I'm more of a dork. Or, actually, maybe I'm more of a geek. I don't know. It's too confusing.
- 2 decks of playing cards. In and by itself, this would seem pretty innocent, but if I were to tell you that they were sticky and had most likely been soaked in every possible combination of alcoholic beverages, not so innocent anymore.
34 toothbrushes. Unused, of course. Apparently I like to buy toothbrushes (but not necessarily use them). 1213 unopened Bath & Body Works products. I know for a fact that I received these as gifts. I guess people think I stink. Could have something to do with my aversion to showering daily. (note to family: No more lotion. I won't use it.)
- A nearly empty bottle of GAP Grass Lotion. Okay, I happen to love this scent of lotion, but for some bizarre reason, GAP stopped making it years ago, which is why I hoard it. I only use it in the summer and only when I want to smell all grassy and summery.
- A container of prunes. There's a story behind this, but I don't really feel like telling it.
So there you have it. Some of the random shit I came across today while "packing". Now I'm going to return to the comforts of good ole TV. I have switched from Ghost Whisperer (because I already saw the episode) and now I'm watching The Cosby Show. It's the episode where Cliff ate something he shouldn't have and is dreaming and there's a bunch of Muppets in it. Remember that one? Good stuff.
Not to be confused with the episode where Cliff ate something bad and dreamt that he was giving birth to a submarine sandwich.