shhh... it's a secret

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Yes, I really am this boring.

So, here I am, packing up my shit. Actually, right now I'm watching Ghost Whisperer because for some strange reason I have recently become addicted to this show. I gotta admit, I really like a lot of JLH's clothes on the show, but I also really like watching her ass grow and shrink between seasons. And of course, how the wardrobe people try to hide her growing lower half. But I digress.

Any way, just for fun, I thought I would give you a peek into the bizarre world of me. I think you can learn so much about a person by snooping through their stuff (or their car). So, for your entertainment, I'm providing you with a peek into my life via my personal shit (but just the random shit that I came across that struck me as... well... odd).
  • Bubbles! Of course, upon finding these bubbles, I became horribly sidetracked and had to go outside on this gloriously rainy day and, of course, blow bubbles. I took pics too, because the bubbles were glorious. Seriously, I've never seen bubbles that were lovelier. Apparently the Germans really know how to make bubbles.

    Pretty, right? And yes, I do live on a highway. And no, there isn't any sort of fence to keep us safe from the highway crazies. But it's okay, my landlord planted a protective tree barrier. See? Oh, and I'm out in like 15 days, so, whatev'.
  • Care Bear stickers. Yeah, I can't remember why I have these.
  • Stewie refrigerator magnets. Again, not sure why I have these or where they came from, but they're cool, and some day I'll a refrigerator to put them on. Oh! And totally unrelated, but kind of related, I have a Stewie Christmas tree ornament too. Not sure when I'll ever get a chance to hang that up again...
  • Superman stickers. Again... see above. Really, what's with me and stickers? I mean, I love stickers, but... talk about random.
  • A note from a student's parent from 2004. And because it's awesome and I want the world to know that I'm awesome, here it is, exactly as written...
  • Miss (my last name),
    I just wanted to take a few minutes to say thank you! I will be 100% honest with you, and tell you that when the whole mess started with Mrs. CrazyPerson* I was not willing to give you a chance. What I focused on instead, was that fact that I already knew Mrs. C., and my children liked her. I have sat back and watched your interaction w/the students, and observed the way that they respond to you. Frankly they love you, enjoy your class, learn from you, and are learning to love art through you. As a parent of 3 in this school I am very happy that you are here for them. Good things take time, and I think that with more time all of the parents will realize what I have, and will supoort you also. Hang in there! We need more teachers in this school like you.
    Sincerely, Mrs. Change of Heart
    Awe... how nice. Yeah, I know this mother was blowing smoke up my ass, but whatev', I needed this. This just happened to be from the year of teaching that I am forever scarred by. Maybe someday I will tell you all about it, but for all you teachers out there, imagine the worst possible situation you could possibly be in as a teacher, and that was my first year. Seriously. Oh, and this is totally going in my portfolio.
  • A rock. Uh-huh...
  • A Donald Duck lunchbox. Which apparently is where I keep my empty money rolls. Go figure. Too bad it's not a Scrooge McDuck lunchbox. Maybe if I put the rolls under the dryer, they'll magically fill up with money...
  • 2 packages of vacuum belts. I guess I was afraid of running out.
  • This pic from my senior play. Can you guess which one is me?

  • A key chain whip. Yeah, my house keys are now hanging from it, thank you very much.
  • 2 unlabeled VHS tapes. I can't even imagine what is on these.
  • A Bacardi light-up bat pin. It no longer lights up. I tossed it. I think I acquired this about four years or so ago when I was working at an Irish pub and restaurant.
  • A vibrator. Yes, that kind of vibrator. Damn! I forgot I had this.
  • 9 10 lighters. Which probably explains why the people I used to live with could never find their lighters. Apparently as well as a pickle thief, I'm also a lighter thief.
  • A stun gun. I mean, I don't have one of these, because having one of these in NY State is illegal, however, having one in VA State is not illegal. If I were to have one, I'm sure it wouldn't have it's batteries in it or anything. Moving on...
  • My nerdy academic pins from high school. I guess I've always been a nerd. Or, I guess I'm more of a dork. Or, actually, maybe I'm more of a geek. I don't know. It's too confusing.
  • 2 decks of playing cards. In and by itself, this would seem pretty innocent, but if I were to tell you that they were sticky and had most likely been soaked in every possible combination of alcoholic beverages, not so innocent anymore. 
  • 3 4 toothbrushes. Unused, of course. Apparently I like to buy toothbrushes (but not necessarily use them).
  • 12 13 unopened Bath & Body Works products. I know for a fact that I received these as gifts. I guess people think I stink. Could have something to do with my aversion to showering daily. (note to family: No more lotion. I won't use it.)
  • A nearly empty bottle of GAP Grass Lotion. Okay, I happen to love this scent of lotion, but for some bizarre reason, GAP stopped making it years ago, which is why I hoard it. I only use it in the summer and only when I want to smell all grassy and summery.
  • A container of prunes. There's a story behind this, but I don't really feel like telling it. 
So there you have it. Some of the random shit I came across today while "packing". Now I'm going to return to the comforts of good ole TV. I have switched from Ghost Whisperer (because I already saw the episode) and now I'm watching The Cosby Show. It's the episode where Cliff ate something he shouldn't have and is dreaming and there's a bunch of Muppets in it. Remember that one? Good stuff.


Not to be confused with the episode where Cliff ate something bad and dreamt that he was giving birth to a submarine sandwich.


    Krista said...

    EWWWWW!!! TMI! TMI! But I have to ask, why on earth do you have German bubbles? I also have Care Bear stickers.....

    MeredithDuck said...

    Holy crap - those are my all time favorite episodes of The Cosby Show! Especially the first one.

    I must be stinky too because people get me Bath and Body works crap all the time - even though I ask them not to. But my coworkers love it - the day after holidays I come in with my bag of lotions (that sounds so dirty) and pass them out like Santa Claus.

    One Blonde Girl said...

    @ Krista- Yeah, I'm not sure why either. I think they came from a $1 store. Do your Care Bear stickers look like my Care Bear stickers?

    @ MeredithDuck- I agree. The Cosby Show had some great episodes, although sometimes they got a little... preachy. I didn't know people actually wanted B&B lotions. I always considered them the fruitcake of Christmas presents. Thanks for the tip!

    Shelley Weber said...

    I always loved GAP grass too, and was angry when they stopped making it... will you hate it or love it when I tell you they brought it back at the gap outlet when i was working there. Even though I have been hoarding my original bottle of it from the first go 'round, I bought more! I dont know if they still have it there now, but I would imagine so...

    p.s. I'm with you on the lotion thing...

    One Blonde Girl said...

    @ Shelley- Where the hoo-ha have you been, lady? Glad to have you back. I haven't been into a GAP in ages, but now I'm going to have to check it out. My bottle of grass is getting pretty scuzzy.

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