♫ The best part of waking up, is... ♪

 

...having this guy knocking on your door at 7 am on a Monday morning.

Okay, so it wasn't exactly this guy, who happens to be British actor, Bruce Byron, well-known for his role as DC Terry Perkins on "The Bill" (no? Doesn't ring a bell? How about Red from The Mummy Returns? Carriage Driver from Mansfield Park? No bells? Ah, well, I tried). But it was a plainclothes copper who looked an awful lot like him.

What was he doing at my house at 7 am on a Monday morning, you ask? Issuing my landlord a notice of foreclosure. Fan-freakin-tastic! I know what you're thinking, Holy shit, will I be evicted? Probably not. Foreclosure proceedings can last forever and chances are, I'll be on the road long before it gets resolved.

But that's not the point. And that's certainly not the part that bothers me the most. What really irks me is, WHERE THE FUCK HAS OUR RENT BEEN GOING? I mean, this guy collects enough rent every month to pay his mortgage... twice! (I know this because every resident above the age of 18 is advised to read the summons and it states within it the monthly mortgage.) You can't tell me the cost of utilities is as much as the cost of the mortgage. Okay, well, we live right outside of NYC, so maybe that might be true, and I'm sure the taxes aren't cheap either, but it's not like this dude doesn't work full time!

Oh, and did I mention he was issued a summons back in January for neglecting to pay for our kitchen oven? Yeah. Nice, right? I definitely know what you're thinking now, Holy shit! This girl lives in slum housing! Uh, no, I don't. Apparently I live in a house owned by a guy who can't manage money well and probably couldn't afford to purchase a house in the first place. 

Welcome to America, folks.