I was bonding with my nephew this morning over a container of ectoplasm-green Play-doh, when his mom brilliantly suggested that I ask him for some life advice. So I did, figuring it couldn't be any worse than the direction I was already headed in. Or so I thought...
OBG: Okay, so here's the deal. I just graduated with my Master's degree and...
Nephew: What Master's?
OBG: It's a big deal.
OBG: Because it means you're smart.
Nephew: Why you smart?
OBG: Because I have brains.
Nephew: Why you have brains?
OBG: Because I was born with them.
OBG: So I paid lots of money for classes I didn't need, and I wasted two years writing a paper that's just going to sit on the library shelf and no one is going to look at. And now I can't get a job. What should I do?
Nephew: Cut you head off.
(At this point, I made a mental note to talk to Mommy about this. After our conversation, she decided to have a conversation with Daddy about things that are not appropriate for little boys to watch on TV)
OBG: So, I'm broke. I have no money and it costs money to live in a house. I'm going to be homeless soon. What should I do?
Nephew: Get motorcycle.
OBG: A motorcycle? And do what with it?
Nephew: Ride it 'round.
OBG: Around where?
Nephew: To yous house.
OBG: But I don't have a house. Where should I go?
Nephew: The gym. Ride circles.
OBG: I need a job. How do I get a job?
Nephew: At Walmart.
(I also asked the boy for some relationship advice- long story short, he thinks I should run around in circles. I think he knows me too well.)
Contemplating the big questions of life.
p.s. I'm convinced my sister's house is haunted. I would explain why, but it would just creep me out. Plus, she reads this blog and it would creep her out too.