Strangely enough (or maybe not) the idea/topic/issue of Friends with Benefits (FWB) has been very much present in my life lately. I'll give you a couple of examples...
- Co-Worker has been regaling me with tales of her so-called dating life. This life involves not one, not two, but three FWBs, although she insists she's only sleeping with two of them. I tend to think she's just too embarrassed to tell me she slept with Fatso Virgin, who I suspect is no longer a virgin. Thanks to her. I know she's hooking up with Receding Hairline Musician, despite the fact that she thinks he's lame and short and chubby (it should be noted, Co-Worker could politely be described as chubby too). And despite the fact that she keeps insisting that this time she's not going to sleep with him. Sure. I also know she's hooking up with Douche-bag from the City, who, from the sounds of it, is a Grade A douche-bag.
- My former housemate, Aimless Adventurer, has also been involved in some recent FWB situations. I know less details about her experiences, but I do know that one dude, Mr. Business, lives in Seattle. SEATTLE! We live in NY. I don't think I have to explain the problem there. Although, now that I think about it, I'm not sure this one can technically qualify as FWB since the 'B' isn't actually taking place. Regardless, I do know of at least two other FWBs in her life. (or were. She recently moved.)
I could give you more examples, but those two should be plenty, especially since this post isn't about outlining all the 'B' people in my life are receiving right now. It's about the fact that Stevie Nicks and Courteney* Cox were able to read my mind.
On my way home from work, after an informative discussion with Co-Worker about her relationships, or lack thereof, I was reflecting on bits and pieces of our conversation. For example, how can you enjoy the benefits of the FWB without feeling like a whore? How do you deal with the fact that your 'F' is super awesome during the 'B' time but non-existent in your life the rest of the time?** Well, this is when Stevie came on the radio and answered my questions...
In case you missed it, or in case you could care less about watching the video...
"Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing"
Ah... thanks Stevie. Those are words every woman should remember. I felt like calling Co-Worker up and making her listen. At this point, I had concluded that FWB is a situation that just can't work out. One 'F' is bound to get more attached to the other 'F' and things just get all shitty and go downhill fast at that point. True story.
I was feeling a bit bummed out about my realization. Not because I felt bad for Co-Worker, but because, in the grand scheme of things, I would like to believe that Casual Sex, and more specifically, FWB, can work. I also naively believe that men and women can be friends without sex and romantic feelings getting involved and muddying the whole thing up. Let me reword that, straight men and women. I'm still working on proving this theory (for the record, I'm having some success with this. For example, I've been friends with Unfortunate Guy for 9 years or so now and sex and romantic feelings have never been an issue. Not even when there was alcohol involved. See? So I'm convinced it can happen).
At any rate, feeling bitter about the world of... well, the world of... shit, I don't know what to call it. Moving on.
Since the thesis has been more-or-less done*** I've reintroduce myself to Wednesday night TV. I'm actually quite impressed with three new shows on ABC's lineup, The Middle, Modern Family and Cougar Town (Happy Town? Jury's still out on this one. I'm inclined to decline because ABC pitches this show as the next LOST. You can't pitch a show as the next anything. Especially not LOST. Doing that pretty much guarantees the show will fail. Like they could ever replace LOST.)
So, I was watching Cougar Town, which, in case you weren't aware, stars Courteney Cox, and as it turns out, the episode was about FWB. Long story short, CC's character, Jules, and this dude, Grayson, enter the forbidden territory of FWB (actually, I think they entered last week, but whatev'). They basically agree that despite the bad track record of FWBs, they can make it work because they won't make the mistakes others have made. You know where this is headed right? Needless to say, Jules falls for Grayson, admits to him that she wants more, he tells her that he didn't "sign up" for more and that ends that.
Or so I thought. The episode ends with Grayson crossing the street (they're neighbors) and kissing Jules in a way that says, "I was wrong. I want more too. Let's DO this!" So, see? I was RIGHT! FWB can totally work! Oh. No, wait a minute. That's not right. Fuck! How did I think this restored my faith in FWB being doable? Sonofabitch. Back to the drawing board.
* Is it just me, or is this just about the most fucked up way to spell her name?
** For the record, I already knew the answer to these questions.
Blue-Eyed Pea: For the love of God, do you think she'll ever stop talking about that goddamn thesis?
Brown-Eyed Pea: Doesn't look that way, huh?
Blue-Eyed Pea: Fuck me.
Brown-Eyed Pea: (eyebrow wiggle)
Blue-Eyed Pea: You have a very dirty mind.
Brown-Eyed Pea: Hey, you brought it up.