Lately, the microwave and I have not been friends. I don't know why, but for some reason the microwave, who up until recently took four hours to heat a cup of coffee, is now burning all my shit. Like the time it burned the cheese I was melting on top of a plate of nachos (Mmmm... nachos...). Or the time the spinney-plate-thing wouldn't spin and half my bag of Pop-Secret became a smoldering popcorn ball of burntness. Or the time it used some microwave voo-doo to produce a burnt, sugary tumor in the center of the peanut butter chips I was melting (okay, that one may have been my fault). Or the time it set fire to the paper towel I was using as a splatter cloth while I was heating up some soup.
See? Not friends. So really, I shouldn't have been too surprised when what I'm about to tell you happened.
Remember last week when I was all PMS-ey? Well, I was totally jonesing for some chocolate, and since I was determined not to leave the house and have to deal with the public, I had to make do with what was in the house (can I just interject here and talk about how shocked I am that I live with 5 other females and there is never, ever any chocolate in this house? I mean seriously, what gives?).
Long story short, the only chocolate I could scrounge up was the container of chocolate chips that my landlord uses for his vegan cookies. He also happens to have two containers of peanut butter chips. So, I took a handful of one, and then I took a handful of the other and dumped them into a little cup. Well, at this point, my eyes happened upon the scant amount of cinnamon-sugar I had leftover from breakfast and immediately thought, "Sweet! Cinnamon-sugar dusted peanut butter and chocolate chips would so hit the spot right now!" So I poured it over the chips and mixed that shit up bartender style.
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It only took a few shakes for me to realize that the cinnamon-sugar was not coating my chips like I had envisioned. After a few seconds of MacGyver-type trouble-shooting problem-solving thinking, I concluded that my best option would be to nuke the chips for a few seconds to moisten them up, which of course, would allow the cinnamon-sugar to adhere better. I. Am. A. Genius.
I bet you know where this is headed already, right? Yeah, so I popped the mug o' chips into the 'wave and hit the 30-second auto button ('cause it's easier). My slightly ADD-brain proceeded to take me on a tour through the freezer and refrigerator looking for god-only-knows what, completely forgetting about the mug o' chips. Until the inevitable beep-beep-beep sounded.
Crap!
If you know anything about chocolate and peanut butter chips and their relationship with the microwave, then you know that nuking them for 30 seconds is a tad extreme when your goal is to moisten your chips. I knew this and I had every intention to stop the microwave at 10-15 seconds, but like I said before, my ADD-brain took over and I lost focus.
Needless to say, I proceeded to melt the chips, mix them up and created my own, slightly different, version of Nutella. I then slathered it on some bread and made myself a sandwich. In case you're wondering, it wasn't all that great. Peanut butter and chocolate chips are all well and good when eaten by hand, as god intended, but as a spreadable spread, with cinnamon and sugar mixed in? Not so much. Too decadent, in my opinion.
So, in conclusion...
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and inevitably, this will follow...
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